What didn't happen behind closed doors
by KimberleyIonaSmith
Summary: An Incredibly Odd Storyline. Outtakes from 'What didn't happen'. Warning: this is a discipline fic. It would make more sense if you also read 'What didn't happen' but don't feel obliged.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I didn't write and don't own the 'Twilight' series. The following story is certainly not something that would have taken place in those stories. It contains a harsh spanking scene. So, please only read it if that appeals to you.

"Goodbye, Bella," I kissed her again, hoping that if I gave her enough kisses, she would return to me sooner. Though I could hear Emmett scorning a man that would beg, I would try anything to bring my Bella back to me, so I begged, "please come back to me soon."

"See you later, darlin'" Jasper said to Alice, he sounded solemn and was thinking that he didn't want to do 'it'. He was careful not to picture what he didn't want to do, so I wasn't sure what 'it' was.

Alice whispered something to him that made him grin and he stood up straight, to attention. Then he put a warning hand on my shoulder, reminding me that he could physically restrain me if it became necessary. '_I will tie you up again if you take one step towards her'_ he thought.

"You won't see us till tomorrow" Rosalie said to Bella, "but don't worry, we'll be around." Then she took Emmett's hand and they ran off together.

Alice took my Bella's arm and steered her out the door. When we got into the car she said, "you need me to remind you of the cover story now." To me, she thought '_please, Edward, try to be good.'_ I wasn't sure what she meant. Surely she didn't think that I was going to sneak out. I hadn't planned on doing that at all. I had planned on going to my room and staying there all night, thinking about all the things that I'd done wrong.

Jasper and Esme looked at each other. Esme was thinking about my last rebellion and how young and frightened I had looked when I returned to her and to Carlisle. Jasper was saying to himself, over and over, '_it has to be done. It has to be done_'.

"Try and . . ." Esme hesitated, she wasn't sure what to say without interfering, she thought '_I know that we agreed to this, but now it's happening, I feel so scared for him_'. "Don't take too long," she said finally.

Jasper nodded, then he turned to me and said, "Edward, you and I are going to have a quiet word in my study."

He took his hand from my shoulder and strode off, obviously expecting me to follow him. I wasn't sure why, but I began to feel nervous. I'd been in Jasper's study before, he liked to read in there and we'd sat there to talk about all sorts of things: books, courses; serious discussions often took place in Jasper's study. It was a comfortable place to sit and I usually liked it there. Right now, however, I felt anxious.

Jasper walked in first and I felt butterflies in my stomach it reminded me of . . . of something from my human life, but I wasn't quite sure what. In my vampire life, the only time that I had felt like this was when I had returned to Esme and Carlisle after my rebellious phase. Maybe I was only thinking about that because Esme had been thinking about it earlier. Whatever the reason, I felt the need to take a deep breath before I followed Jasper into his study.

Jasper sat on his big leather chair behind his desk. He didn't invite me to sit, so I stayed standing, clasping my hands loosely behind my back. Jasper leaned back in his chair, clasped his hands in front of him and fixed his eyes on my face, with a stern expression.

I suddenly realised what this felt like, at just the same moment as Jasper thought it '_it's like being summoned into the headmaster's study_'. My heart, if I'd had one, would have sunk. Jasper was going to give me a talking-to. I'd been brought in here because I'd almost got Alice killed and Jasper was going to yell at me.

Last night, I'd been summoned to Carlisle's office. He'd scolded me and told me that I wasn't allowed out of the house until he gave me permission. That was when I'd tried to persuade him to let me see Bella. I'd begged him to let me go. He'd refused again, and then I'd tried to fight. Thinking about it, I realised that I'd got off very lightly with Carlisle, he'd barely chastised me at all for my behaviour. Now I knew why. He'd deputised. I was going to get my lecture from Jasper instead.

_He's nervous, at least._ Jasper thought, _that saves me a job. I won't have to project nerves onto him. I wonder why he's nervous. Is it because he knows what he deserves or because he __doesn't understand what I'm doing?_

"I know that I deserve whatever you have for me," I told him honestly.

_That's annoying._ He thought. "I don't want you to answer my thoughts," he said, "I want you to concentrate on my actual words, alright?"

"Of course, my apologies, Jasper."

_Major Whitlock. _He thought, automatically correcting me. Since I was in disgrace and standing before him, he immediately imagined me as a guilty subordinate, and I tried not to grin. "We have talked a lot about your actions today," he said solemnly, _though we haven't even begun to touch on how serious your behaviour is _"but I think that there is still more to be said. I think that you need to understand how serious your actions were and exactly what the consequences could have been." _and still might be._

I didn't answer any of his words, either spoken or unspoken. I thought that I did understand what I'd done and how serious it was, but I wasn't expected to contradict Jasper right now.

"If you had been killed," he began, _one at a time, Jasper, _"it would have broken this family apart. We would have been miserable. You would have destroyed Esme" _she can't lose another son, how could he be so thoughtless? _"You would have destroyed Carlisle's faith in himself. Alice," _one at a time, we'll get to that bit, _"would have been heart-broken. Rosalie would have never recovered. When we realised what you had done, that you were trying to get yourself destroyed, it broke everyone's hearts. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

I nodded, then, knowing that wasn't enough, I said meekly, "yes, sir."

'_Sir?' I should probably stop him . . . maybe when we're done here. _"Do you know how selfish it was for you to consider leaving us in that way? Tell me, Edward, did you spare a single thought for the family that you were leaving behind?"

Jasper's gift would mean that he would know if I was lying, he knew the exact surge of nervousness that I got when I lied. I should tell the truth, "um . . . not enough thought, sir." That was, at least, true.

_Self-centred brat!_ Jasper thought, _he never even considered his family. _"Tell me the truth," he said sternly, "did you think about the consequences for your family? Did you think about how much you would upset us all?"

"No, sir, I'm sorry, I -"

Jasper cut me off, "you can apologise later," he said, _we have so many more charges to get through. _"Did you stop to think about the more physical consequences?" he asked, "you knew that you would reveal the size of our family to the Volturi. Did you think about what would be the likely result of that?" _They won't want to leave us alone. We're big enough to be considered a threat. We will never get away from the consequences of Edward's little trip._

"No, sir," I wanted to apologise again, but I didn't want to annoy Jasper. He was starting to scare me. What was going to happen when he finished his list of charges?

_The boy's an idiot! A self-centred idiot. He's a danger to have around. _

I winced at Jasper's last thought.

_I have got to deal with this now. _He continued in his mind. _He has to be taught control. _"Do you know now, what the results of your behaviour might be?"

He was going to make me say it aloud, he must truly hate me. "Yes, sir," I said, "now that the Volturi know how many are in this coven, they may try to find an excuse to destroy us or split us up. Now that they know of my gift and Alice's gift, they may try more devious ways to force us to join their guard."

_How dare he sound so calm while he says that? _

"I'm not calm, I swear."

"Edward," Jasper warned me, "answer my words, not my thoughts."

I bowed my head. The thoughts were torture to me. Jasper thought so badly of me and he was ordering me not to defend myself. Still, that was what I deserved. I would stand here and take it.

_Where was I? Ah, yes, consequences. _"Did you guess that Alice would follow you?"

I winced, I didn't know. Had I guessed? Well, of course she was bound to. I had hurried, I had wanted to get the thing finished before she arrived. I had kept changing my mind as to exactly what I would do, I had tried to hide from her. Yes, I'd known that she would follow me. "Yes, sir."

_I should kill him. I have every right to kill him. _"Are you telling me that you knowingly led Alice into a situation where she was likely to be destroyed?"

"Because I wasn't thinking, sir."

_He has to think. He must learn to think about the consequences of his actions before he acts. Maybe Alice was right. _"You thought about nobody but yourself," he told me, and I screamed inside as though he'd struck me, because I knew that it was true. "Do you realise the risk to which you exposed your Bella?"

Yes, and I will hate myself forever because of it. "Yes, sir."

"Tell me," he said. _This is going to hurt, but he has to face up to what he's done._

"I led Bella into a coven, the most powerful coven, of vampires. They might have killed her or turned her. Any slight slip might have injured her fatally. They might have decided to torture her in order to punish me for betraying the secret. It was sheer luck that brought her out alive. I know that, sir. And it was all my fault. I know that too."

_He does look cut up about it. I can't imagine if I had put Alice in danger. My job is to protect her. How can he have forgotten that? _"Why didn't you check your facts before you went?" _Reckless brat._

"I was very upset, sir. I thought that Bella was dead." He couldn't know the pain that I felt at that moment. It was so painful that I lost my mind.

_Doesn't he know how important it is to keep your head? Because he let his emotions take over he almost caused the thing that he dreaded most. _"You let your sorrow cloud your vision," he said, "if you had stopped to think, you would have come back to Forks and mourned Bella properly. Had she died, that would have been the correct thing to do."

Of course he was right. I would have missed her funeral. I would have missed the chance to say goodbye. What kind of a mourner was I?

"You focussed on your own feelings, even when you thought that Bella was dead. You didn't even stop to honour her memory. Do you know what that makes you?"

"Deplorably self-centred," I said, and I hated him for making me say that. I hated him for making my desperate grief sound like a child's tantrum and for making me say it aloud.

_Angry? _He thought, _at whom? He must be angry at me. Insolent puppy. _"Do you understand that, even if you hadn't been wrong about Bella's death, what you did would still have been wrong?" _I can't discipline him, if he doesn't understand what he's done to deserve it._

"Yes, sir. I understand that I was only thinking about myself. I wanted to end the pain that I felt and I didn't think about the pain that I would cause. I wanted to throw myself into danger and I didn't think about the family who would be forced into danger along with me." I hate him for knowing how much of a monster I am and I hate him for forcing me to see it.

_Then it's time. _"Well," he said, "this behaviour is unacceptable. You cannot put the family in danger like this. This afternoon we came up with a few safe-guards that will, hopefully, prevent you repeating your exploits. But, it is important that you also face the consequences of what you have done."

This is it, he's going to ask me to leave the family.

"You have a lot of apologies to make," he said, "and I expect to see you attempting to make amends"

"Yes, sir. I will." How was I going to make up for what I'd done?

_Confusion. He doesn't know where to start. _"For disobeying Esme and Carlisle yesterday, you must apologise and you must fix all of the damage that you did. You must apologise to Rosalie for the way that you treated her yesterday. You cannot blame her for your own stupidity. You must apologise to Alice for endangering her. You must apologise to Emmett for fighting with him yesterday. You must apologise to Bella for putting her in danger and to Charlie for frightening him. You must accept the consequences that they give you without complaint. Remember that you brought all this on yourself."

"Yes, sir." I hated saying that. Jasper didn't look much older than me. But, he was a lot older, I knew that really. He's never assumed any authority over me before. I suppose that I'd never shown any need. Of course I didn't behave perfectly; I had stepped out of line a couple of times, but Carlisle and Esme had punished me and Jasper had never been involved. He was my brother. I'd never thought of him as anything else. But now, he had me standing in front of him calling him 'sir'. He wasn't Jasper anymore, now he was Major Whitlock.

_He's scared. He's not scared like I would be, he's scared like a child. Alice was right. _"You're not actually a child anymore," he said, "but you have certainly been behaving like one. So, I am going to give you a choice. If you would like to be treated like a child, you can lay yourself over my lap and I will spank you. If you would like to be treated like an adult, I am going to challenge you to a fight. You are either a disobedient child who needs a smack or another male who endangered my mate and my coven. Which is it?"

I stared at him. What on earth did he expect me to do? He couldn't think that I was going to submit to being spanked. I am over a hundred years old, whatever I may look like. There is no way that I am laying myself over anyone's knee, let alone my brother's. Would he expect me to bend over and let Emmett thrash me too?

Maybe it would be different if Carlisle was sat there. But, he didn't treat me like a five year-old. Carlisle had taken my cars and grounded me, that was true. But, even he didn't suggest a beating. I understood that my family were angry. Jasper was especially angry, and he had every right. I had endangered his mate. Of course he wanted to hurt me. But, he couldn't think that I was going to submit to a child's punishment.

_Surprise. _Jasper thought, _I guess Carlisle has never spanked him. Perhaps that explains how we ended up in this situation in the first place. The boy's been spoilt rotten. Esme dotes on him, Carlisle puts up with his sulks and tantrums. Is he going to fight me?_

Was I going to fight Jasper? He would definitely win. He might even destroy me. Would he tear me into pieces? Would he set fire to them? He might just leave me in a pile of twitching limbs and let me slowly crawl back together.

The front door opened and we both listened for the footfall. Alice was home. She ran into the kitchen and found Esme, who was cleaning up. Nothing was dirty, she must have been trying to distract herself. Through Alice's eyes, I saw Esme's face. She was so worried and tense. Alice asked her to come into the lounge. She suggested that they put the television on to disguise the noise. I wondered what noise Alice was expecting to hear. Was it the noise of me fighting her mate, or the noise of him beating me? Alice was singing 'Let it Be' to herself so that I couldn't hear any other thoughts from her. They put on the television and attempted to watch a movie.

_He's just standing there,_ Jasper thought, _he doesn't know what to do. He's afraid to fight me, of course, but he's also afraid to let me discipline him. I recognise the feelings coming from him. This is what I felt like when . . . 'Edward, you're listening to my thoughts' _he interrupted his own musings by addressing me.

I was embarrassed about being caught listening. Of course I could always hear thoughts, but deliberately concentrating on them when they weren't aimed at me was rude, and I knew it. I looked away from Jasper's face, down at my feet. I was wearing trainers, which was unusual for me. But Alice had handed them to me, when she'd insisted that I put on an untorn outfit earlier. I was wearing a green shirt and a pair of khaki cargo-pants, so it wouldn't really look right if I put on my usual polished leather shoes. I hadn't commented on Alice's choice of outfit at the time, but I wondered now if I was dressed casually in case of a fight.

Jasper – who must also have been dressed by Alice, since he was always dressed by Alice – was wearing the same outfit that he's been wearing when I first met him. Why hadn't I noticed that before? He was wearing smart blue dress trousers and a grey coat with gold buttons. He had put his riding boots on. Of course, he and Alice had been joking about 'General Swan' before they went upstairs, perhaps he was dressed up because of that conversation. But Alice usually focussed on the future and not the past when she dressed us. Was his army uniform an indication that she expected him to fight me? Why had he bothered to discuss the details of my grounding if he was planning on killing me tonight?

_He's just a child who doesn't want to accept his punishment, _Jasper thought, _I should end this now._

He stood up and strode over to me. I thought that he was going to punch me. I stood my ground, figuring that I'd rather he started the fight. Then, instead of hitting me, which is what I'd expected, he picked me up. He grabbed both my wrists in his left hand and he grabbed a handy loop on my waist in his right hand. He held me in the air, dangling from his hands and lifted me up and down experimentally, as if he was guessing my weight. I twisted my neck around to look at him. For a second, the serious look left his face, "Alice gave you handles," he said, as if he thought that was extremely funny and rather touching, _she wanted to make this as easy as it could be for me, _he thought.

Then the serious look returned and he carried me with him as he returned to his chair. He sat down and arranged me over his lap. He pulled my hands over my head and set them on the floor to steady me on one side and let my feet rest against the floor to steady me on the other. With a quick, deft movement, as if we had done this many times before, he pulled down my pants and left them around my ankles.

I heard the volume of the television being turned up.

Jasper hesitated for a couple of seconds, wondering if he was going to leave my underpants in place. He didn't want me humiliated. Then, he smiled to himself and thought _half the point of pulling the boy over my knee is to humiliate him._ He tugged my underpants down and pushed them to my ankles.

He let me have a couple more seconds to take in my position and to consider that I was laid, bare-assed over his lap, awaiting a well-deserved spanking. Then he set to work.

I was surprised by how much the first swat stung. Never having been spanked as a vampire, I hadn't really known what to expect, but it hurt quite a lot. Memories of my human childhood flooded back and I remembered being a small boy getting spanked by my nurse. This felt a lot like that. I had the same horrible mixture of guilt and shame and physical pain as I had done when I was a human child. I also remembered being flogged by my father. I couldn't remember what my crime had been, but I recalled the horrible theatrical way in which he'd called me into his office, given me a dressing-down, then sent me to fetch his cane from his bedroom. I remembered his order to 'assume the position' and the tense wait while his cane whistled through the air, before it came crashing down on my backside. My father had left me fully clothed, as I recalled it. I wished that Jasper had as much regard for modesty. At least he didn't build up any anticipation. Each smack followed rapidly on the heels of the one before, there was no time for me to fear the next blow.

Knowing that Alice and Esme were in the house, I was determined not to cry out. I held my lips tightly together and reminded myself that I certainly deserved this. I had no right to protest and I shouldn't distress my family by making them listen to my suffering. If I could stay silent through Jane's attack, then I could take a simple spanking in silence.

My human authority figures had not kept it up for long. Their arms had tired and they had stopped after only a few minutes. Jasper, however, would never tire. He could probably keep this up all night if he wished. My human father used to make me count out the strokes. It was lucky that Jasper hadn't had a similar idea. A part of my mind couldn't help counting them and we had reached 204 already. If I counted out every blow, Alice and Esme would go mad.

The idea made me smile and suddenly the intensity increased. Jasper began hitting harder and faster. I couldn't think of anything but the pain. He was hurting me. I wanted him to stop. I wanted someone to come and make it stop. I wished that I could undo what I'd done to make Jasper so angry.

I heard myself whimper quietly.

It wasn't quiet enough, Esme heard the sound and she thought '_I shouldn't have agreed to this. Edward is suffering. I should go to him._'

I heard Alice tell her that it was going to be alright, that I would thank Jasper in the morning, and that I would be sincerely grateful.

Esme nodded, but she didn't seem convinced.

I was even less convinced. There was no way that I was going to be grateful. This was embarrassing and so, so painful. Why hadn't Jasper stopped yet?

He kept going, the smacks kept coming down, hard and fast. He had a rhythm and I knew when to expect the next surge of pain. My skin was sore and each time Jasper hit me it aggravated the injury. I could heal rapidly, I knew, but Jasper could hit faster than I could heal. I was getting sorer with each smack. Each minute that passed brought me more pain. It felt hot, too, hotter than Bella's skin. The friction must be doing that. Jasper probably felt the same heat in his hand. I wondered if his hand hurt as much as my ass did.

It wouldn't be fair for me to be hurting so much and Jasper to be perfectly comfortable, I thought. But I quickly changed my mind. I was the one who had messed up. I deserved to be in pain. Jasper didn't deserve any pain at all. It must be hurting his hand by now, and that wasn't fair really. He had already had to suffer because of my idiocy. He had been afraid that Alice would never return to him, because of me.

How could I do that to him? Knowing how it felt to believe that I'd lost Bella, I let Jasper believe that he'd lost Alice. Worse than that: I _made_ Jasper believe that he could lose Alice. How could I allow someone else to experience that suffering?

I thought back over the charges that Jasper had levelled against me. He's accused me of endangering everyone, of trying to bereave them, of not respecting Bella's memory, of disobeying Esme and Carlisle, of insulting Rosalie. But he hadn't mentioned what I'd done to him. He hadn't mentioned that I'd almost robbed him of his Alice, that I'd forced him to wait, helpless, wondering if she would return to him. He'd told me of all the apologies that I owed, except the one that I owed him.

This was why it was Jasper who was delivering my punishment. It was only Jasper who understood why I had done what I'd done. He knew exactly how I'd felt, when I thought that I'd lost my Bella, because, thanks to me, he had thought that he'd lost his Alice. But Jasper hadn't reacted at all like me. He hadn't done anything stupid. He had got on with preparing a cover story. He had continued to be responsible. When he did see Alice again, she was proud of him. When I saw Bella again, I was tied to a chair, because I still couldn't control myself.

Jasper had every right to smack me, because he knew exactly what I'd been through and he knew what I should have done. Not only that, but Jasper had been through the same thing and he'd responded correctly. This wasn't about my age or his age. This wasn't even about how long it had been since we'd been changed. I belonged over his knee, because he was the one who got right what I'd got wrong.

I wondered why the pain didn't stop when I reached my epiphany. Couldn't he tell that I'd learned my lesson now? I knew what I'd done wrong. I was determined to never do anything so stupid and thoughtless again. I even respected Jasper for doing this to me. Wasn't that what he was hoping for? Wasn't I feeling the right things now? Wasn't it time for him to stop and let me cool down?

Even though he had been displeased when he'd noticed me doing it before, I decided to seek out his mind and see if I could work out when he was going to stop.

_He's very quiet,_ Jasper was thinking, _he hasn't struggled at all. I'm sure that he can't be comfortable. I can feel that he's still guilty, still shameful, and there's a touch of desperation. He whimpered when I sped up. Perhaps . . ._

For a second time, Jasper upped the intensity of my punishment. He brought his hand down much harder than before. I hadn't realised that he had been holding anything at all back, but now I realised that he had hit me with only a fraction of his true force. How strong was he? We'd wrestled before, but I'd never felt such a strong blow from him. If he hit any other part of my body, he would have broken a bone.

I gasped at the first smack that he dealt with this new strength.

_Better,_ Jasper thought, but then he changed his mind, _unless he's reacting because he can __hear me and this is what he thinks I'm looking for. Better safe than sorry, I'll go for a few more minutes._

Another whimper escaped my lips.

_He's definitely listening to me._ Jasper thought angrily, and he smacked me a few times on my thighs, to show that he was displeased. "Concentrate on what you're being punished for," he told me sternly, "stop trying to guess how much longer it's going to last." _It's going to have to go on for a lot longer, _he thought to himself. He didn't seem to be enjoying his revenge. He seemed resigned to it.

Huh, I thought, it's all very well for Jasper to be getting a bit fed up. He should think about how it feels for me.

I felt another flurry of slaps on my thighs. Jasper had felt my annoyance and was showing that he didn't like it.

Suddenly an over-whelming feeling of misery came over me. I began to sob in the tearless way that we do. Misery? Where had that come from? It must be Jasper. Whenever he threw strong feelings, they came on in a sort of wave. He didn't like me feeling annoyed so he made me miserable instead. He was back to the main spanking on my ass again, still extra-hard and still pretty fast.

_Of course, I can't tell how he's really feeling now,_ Jasper thought to himself, _but this is better than resentment. Does he think that I'm doing this for my own pleasure?_

The misery increased. It was as though there was nothing good left anymore. As though everywhere was rain and goodbyes. I sobbed helplessly.

"You're right, Alice," Jasper spoke out loud. The misery subsided, though the spanking didn't miss a beat.

Alice must have told him to quit fiddling about with my emotions. What with the huge doses of misery and the constant raining of smacks, I hadn't noticed Alice's thoughts or words at all. I wish that she'd told him to ease up on the punishment altogether. But nobody was going to tell him to stop. I deserved so much more. I deserved to be over Jasper's knee for days, perhaps that was the plan. Perhaps he was only going to let me up when Carlisle came home to take over from him. Maybe that was the plan: three months confined to the house, and most of it spent over someone's lap being reminded that I was a self-centred brat.

_Despair, _Jasper thought, _that's new, and I don't think it's me. I've pulled away from him completely._

He hadn't pulled away from me, he was still beating me. Had he been doing it for so long that he didn't even notice anymore? If he did stop I wasn't sure that I would be able to feel anything at all. I wondered if I would always feel his hand striking me. Maybe that was what he was doing, maybe there was a point at which our memories freeze and we imagine that we're stuck in one moment forever. Maybe Jasper was going to get my mind stuck here, trapped over his lap forever: eternally receiving my punishment.

I began to sob again. It wasn't Jasper anymore. It was me. I'd finally reached my limit. I wasn't sorry about what I'd done anymore. I couldn't think about what I'd done. All that I could think about was the pain. I just wished that it would stop. I knew that I deserved it, but I couldn't stand it. I wished Jasper would take pity on me.

As I sobbed, I felt the pattern change. The smacks came slower and harder. He pulled his hand much further back so that there was more force in each blow, but he paused between the blows.

He dealt me a dozen of these super-smacks. Then he stopped, and, while I tried to take stock of the damage that had been done, he said "can you talk?"

I gasped for air and tried to say "yes," but it came out a bit strangled, and turned into another round of sobbing.

I felt Jasper's hand on my back, rubbing circles, "try again," he said, "try to talk to me."

"Yes, sir," I said, my voice sounded surprisingly small.

"That's good," he said warmly, he sounded fine. It was as though he hadn't been through this horrible hour at all. "Now, do you remember why I had to punish you?"

"Yes, sir," I said, anxious to get it all right, I didn't want him to think that I hadn't learned my lesson. "I endangered the whole family," I told him, "by bringing them to the attention of the Volturi."

"That's right," he said, giving me a quick smack.

"And," I went on hurriedly "and I was going to try and get myself killed without worrying about how upset everyone would be."

"Correct," and another smack.

"I led Alice into danger," I continued.

This smack was the hardest so far. I had to pause and collect myself again before I could speak.

"I almost got Bella killed, or worse" I went on.

He smacked me again, almost as hard as he had done for Alice.

"I disobeyed Esme and Carlisle."

I got two smacks for that, which was fair enough, I didn't deserve to get any lessening of punishment by mentioning two crimes in the same sentence.

"I was rude to Rosalie."

He hit me pretty hard. Being rude to a lady was a big deal.

"I fought against you and Emmett."

I was expecting another harsh smack for that one, and tensed up in preparation, but Jasper actually chuckled and gave me two light swats.

"I wasn't thinking," I said, "I should have checked my facts and I should have paid proper respect to Bella's memory, not run off thinking only of myself."

Again, the swat was a lot lighter than I expected.

"I let you think that you were going to lose Alice, even though I knew how horrendous the pain of that would be."

Jasper paused, he didn't smack me for that, instead he said, "I didn't tell you that I was going to spank you for that, Edward. I didn't even think about it."

"I know," I said, "but I ought to be punished for it. You ought to spank me again if you haven't finished, sir." I wondered if he would start all over again. I would probably start crying right away this time. I was still so sore.

"I've finished," he said, in that warm voice again. "You may get up and dress yourself again."

I'd forgotten that I was half-naked. After the discussion that we'd had, and after he'd spanked me hard enough to make me whimper and sob, it seemed foolish to be embarrassed that I wasn't dressed. None the less, I rose and tugged my clothes back on as quickly as I could. The fabric irritated my now very sensitive skin. When I pulled up my pants I noticed that my thighs stung as well as my ass. The extra blows that Jasper had given me when I irritated him had been quite heavy. I was stood in front of him again, but it wasn't quite the same as before he'd spanked me.

I couldn't look at Jasper the same way anymore. It was hard to believe that a little over an hour ago I had questioned his right to punish me. It seemed like a natural thing now, for Jasper to discipline me. I waited to hear what he had to say and wondered if he was going to tell me that it wasn't over yet.

"You have some apologies to deliver," he reminded me. "I'm not going to promise you that this is all over. You have received your punishment in full for your trip to Italy, but I will spank you again if I think that your future actions deserve it. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir," I said, he looked at me expectantly, so I told him what I understood from his words "if I don't behave better, I'll end up back over your knee."

He nodded, satisfied with my interpretation. "In a few days," he continued, "I'll expect you to tell me how all your apologies have gone. So, don't think that you're going to get away with skipping a single one."

"No, sir."

"Alright," he stood up, as if he was about to dismiss me, "and, Edward, you really don't need to call me 'sir', 'Jasper' is fine. I know that I was a bit harsh with you, particularly at the beginning, but I still want to be your big brother. I don't want you to be scared of me."

_That's why I didn't really want to do this, _he thought sadly, _but, there wasn't really anyone else who could. And goodness knows he needed it._

"Jasper," I said, trying his name out on my lips, "um . . . I'm not sure that I'll be altogether comfortable for a bit. But, I am grateful that you went to the trouble of um . . . disciplining me. I will try not to be scared of you. May I go to my room now, please?" I really wanted to be alone. I needed to nurse my broken pride and my sore ass. I just wanted to sob alone for a bit.

Jasper gave me an appraising look, "I think that you'd be better off in the lounge," he said, "but I'm not going to give you any orders. It's over now."


	2. Chapter 2

Hunting was alright. Esme was displeased, but she didn't say anything. When we returned to the house, Jasper told me that I should wait in his study, then he sat down with Esme and Carlisle and they discussed what to do with me. I could hear everything they said and everything they thought. Usually, I would attempt to give my family some privacy when they were having a serious conversation. It was hard to do that whilst waiting meekly in Jasper's study, however. My piano was my favourite distraction, and I couldn't use that. I didn't dare pick up any of Jasper's books. He'd sent me into his study to wait, not to read. I suspected that my role was to stand here thinking about what I'd done and what I was going to get.

I spent some of the time trying to think of ways out of my current situation. Carlisle and Esme had given Jasper free reign to mete out whatever punishments he pleased for whatever infractions he judged me to have committed. Jasper had been thinking about soldiers that he had trained in the past and about the standards to which he planned on keeping me. When I saw the images in Jasper's mind of all the punishments that he had inflicted during his times in armies, I was terrified. Even if he only did a few of those things to me, I would never recover. If I had to obey Jasper's every command, I would lose any personal freedom that I currently retained. There must be a way out.

Esme was probably the weakest link. She hated the idea of me being hurt in any way. She was already longing to wrap me in her arms and keep me safe from Jasper's harsh condemnation. If I played up the 'littlest brother' act a bit, I could probably fill Esme with so much pity for me, that she would insist Jasper left me alone. Unfortunately, Jasper also noticed Esme's pity. He reminded her that it was best for me in the long run that I should learn to behave and that she was being a good mother in bearing her own suffering for my sake. That made Esme determined to stick to the plan.

I heard Carlisle's thoughts about the matter. He suspected that I might try and guilt Esme into interfering and resolved that he would put an instant stop to any such behaviour. Carlisle was seriously considering sending me and Jasper away for a few months, or a year. That would have been awful. I'd far rather accept the odd beating and see Bella at school, than have my mother protect me from corporal punishment and get sent away from my Bella. Carlisle's resolution decided me against begging Esme to save me.

Rose and Emmett might have helped. They had personal interest in preventing Jasper from becoming too much of an authority figure in the house. Rose thought that I deserved whatever I got, however, and was getting close to convincing Emmett. If I asked him, Emmett would help me in any way he could. Emmett would definitely be happy to fight with me against Jasper. He would probably draw the line at defying Carlisle, though. Emmett had never defied Carlisle and he always accepted Carlisle and Esme's word as final. When he heard that they had agreed with Jasper's plan, he would probably desert me.

When it came down to it, my choices were really pretty simple: accept that Jasper is now in authority over me, or run away. Running away, though tempting, would mean that I could never live with my family again. Vampires have long memories and they wouldn't forget that I was owed a discipline session with my brother. If I ran I would have to keep on running. Bella probably wouldn't agree, anyway. She respected Esme and Carlisle, liked Rose, Emmett and Alice, and was beginning to get on pretty well with Jasper. She wouldn't agree to abandon them just because I asked her to do so. She would demand a reason and would probably not agree that running away from Jasper's wrath was a sensible plan.

There was no sensible plan, really. I had no option but to stand here and take what Jasper decided to deal out. I had a lot of time to think about this. After they'd finished their conversation, Carlisle and Jasper went out, presumably to hunt. Jasper couldn't have forgotten that I was standing in his study, so it must have been his intention to give me a little bit more anticipation time. I tried not to spend it all trying to guess what he was going to do and say when he finally joined me.

Jasper didn't bother warming up to the subject, he walked in, sat down and said "what you said to Bella was unacceptable."

Unacceptable: there was that word again. That was what he'd said last time before he offered me my choice. He'd said that my behaviour wasn't acceptable and then he'd offered me a chance to fight him, or to submit to a spanking. I didn't think that I was going to get a similar choice this time. Jasper had spoken about how things had changed, and I was pretty sure that they'd changed in a way that meant I didn't get to choose between fighting and submission anymore. If I didn't get a choice, that left me with only one possibility If my behaviour unacceptable that meant that Jasper was going to punish me.

_He as good as called her a whore _he thought, angrily.

I winced, "yes, sir," I said, "I know that."

_He's doing it again, _Jasper thought, then he said, "Edward, you don't have to call me 'sir'. You know that too." I nodded, remembering his comment at our last session, and Jasper went on, "I've spoken to Carlisle and Esme about today's incident."

"Yes, I overheard."

"So, you'll know what we agreed, then." He raised his voice at the end, allowing me to treat it as a question.

"Yes, sir. You agreed that I need to improve my behaviour and that the best way of helping me will be to make me more accountable. You agreed that, until I can control myself properly again, I need to be under someone else's control, and that I need to have discipline provided for me until such time as I regain a sense of self-discipline."

"That's all true, so what arrangements did we make?"

I sighed, "Carlisle and Esme have given me over to you," I said, "they requested that you would take charge of me and instil me with some more discipline. They said that they trusted you to make decisions regarding my discipline and that they would expect me to obey you without question." I hung my head, what was Jasper going to do with me?

"When I was human, a boy your age would never have addressed a lady in the manner in which you addressed Bella this afternoon."

"I know, sir."

"Wasn't it the same when you were human?"

"It was the same, sir."

"Do you believe times to have changed so very much, Edward?"

"No, sir. I believe that my tone and my words were appalling to people of this time as well as people who were brought up as I was."

"I don't think that your parents finished bringing you up. I think that's the problem. What would your father have done if he had heard you this afternoon?"

"He would have thrashed me, sir."

"Well, at least this shouldn't come as a surprise then."

He stood up, and I knew exactly what he was planning on doing. Now, I knew that I couldn't fight Jasper and I knew that he had the backing of most of my family. The only sensible thing for me to do was to let him grab me and punish me however he saw fit.

Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling very sensible. I was scared of being hurt by Jasper again, I was embarrassed about having to submit to a man whom I had always thought of as a brother. Jasper had been the one whose lapse of control had almost killed Bella. It wasn't right that I should now be expected to accept him as my judge. I'd never tried to hit him for attacking Bella, why was it ok for him to hit me for insulting her?

Stupidly, I decided that this wasn't fair or right and I wasn't going to let it happen. I waited for him to reach out to grab me, and I stepped neatly out of his way. I watched his mind carefully, waiting for him to plan on making another grab.

Instead, Jasper imagined chasing me around his study and thought of all his nice things that could get broken in the process. _Well, I'm not doing that_, he thought. _I'll have to make him submit._

"Do you object to my planned punishment?" he asked me, with a slight smile hovering on the edge of his lips.

"I don't want you to spank me whenever you think that I've misbehaved. You're not my father."

"Fine," he said. _Another hour ought to do it._

Before I could work out why he was thinking about an hour, Jasper left the study. He shut the door calmly behind himself and walked off, looking for Alice.

Left alone in Jasper's study, I began to panic. What was my great plan? He didn't want to chase me around the room, but he wasn't going to just give in and agree that I no longer required punishing. I'd already convinced myself that none of my family were likely to support me in an attempt to stand up to Jasper. My choice was clear: submit or leave.

When he returned, Jasper was going to be just as determined to punish me as before, but this time he was going to be angry because I'd defied him. This really wasn't a good plan at all.

I had been right. Jasper wasn't my father. But, that wasn't really the point. Carlisle was my father, and he didn't want to deal with me anymore. Carlisle had asked Jasper to deal with me. Even after I'd rebelled in Chicago, Carlisle had never given up on me. What I'd done to Bella, however, had finally caused Carlisle to turn his back on me.

I tossed the ideas back and forth in my hand for the entire hour. I didn't want Jasper in charge of me, but it didn't seem to be my choice to make. The time for choices had passed. I'd chosen to insult Bella and now I was going to have to deal with the consequences.

Jasper wasn't my father, but he was the only member of my family who still had a plan. He was the only person who hadn't washed his hands of me. He was the only one who had an idea of how we could move forward. I didn't have a choice. I had only Jasper.

Carlisle had decided not to waste his time trying to teach me to behave anymore. That must mean that he was pretty close to giving up on me altogether and asking me to leave the family for good. Considering how much trouble I'd been to everyone lately, there probably wouldn't be many voices raised in protest. Much as I hated the idea of submitting to Jasper's discipline; at least it wasn't as bad as being thrown out of the family.

Maybe allowing Jasper to spank me whenever he thought that I'd misbehaved wasn't such a bad idea after all. At least he cared what I did. Jasper would help me to win back the trust of my family. He might even help me to win back Bella's trust.

When he returned, I was going to have to obey him.

When he returned, I was going to accept my punishment.

By the time Jasper came back, I was determined to please him. I kept very still, and absolutely silent, waiting for him to tell me what to do.

_I think that worked_, Jasper thought, _the defiant look has gone._

"Alright, Edward," he said to me, "are you ready now?"

"Yes, sir," I said, "I'm sorry for defying you."

Jasper hauled me across the room and laid me over his lap. It was slightly scary how easily Jasper tossed me around. In his normal day-to-day actions he gave no hint of the stern soldier that he had been. When he was punishing me, though, he was strong and tough, and frightening. He tugged down my pants and my underpants.

"You will be sorry for defying me," he said, "I don't like repeating myself." He began swatting my thighs. I held still for as long as I could, but it was painful and my legs began drumming on the floor in an attempt to evade the pain. Jasper hissed quietly and wrapped his leg around me to hold my feet in place. Then he continued to beat me. Now that I couldn't move, my only outlet was my voice and I whimpered quietly.

"Next time you are ordered over my knee, you will obey instantly."

"Yes-s-s s-s-sir," it was pathetic to hear my childlike stammering. Only a few swats on my legs had me whimpering and stuttering.

"Alright, now this is intended to teach you to mind your manners." Then he began my proper spanking. He finally set to work on my backside, speeding up and spreading his hand to make sure that my whole bottom was covered. He spanked in a pattern, which almost made it worse, because I knew when the left was about to be struck and just as the pain on the right began to ease, I knew he was going to land another blow there. He kept to time, not speeding or slowing, just raining unstoppable, carefully measured spanks on my defenceless behind.

I could hardly understand what had happened to me. I knew how to be polite and I used to be in perfect control of myself. Ever since I left Bella, I have been having impulse control issues.

Now I was so badly behaved that Carlisle had given up on me. He'd asked Jasper for help in teaching me the proper way to behave.

"Ow! Plea-ease, s-s-sir!" I found myself crying out. I knew that I couldn't stop him. Jasper would give me the punishment that he thought I needed, no more and no less. But my lips moved anyway, and I cried out for a mercy that I knew I didn't deserve and wasn't going to get.

As I expected, Jasper didn't miss a beat, but he did answer me. "Remember why you're in this position, Edward."

I missed being the person who could be trusted. I missed the days when my family admired my self-control. I almost missed the days when it had been Jasper who had worried us. That wasn't kind, however. I was glad that Jasper had improved his control around Bella so much. I was truly pleased that Jasper could drive alone in a car with Bella. But, I wished that his control hadn't increased at the same time as mine had decreased.

Being the one who worried everyone was no fun at all. Being the youngest sibling, having fewer privileges and getting spanked, was quite unpleasant. I preferred being Carlisle's first and favourite son. Italy probably spelt the end of that relationship, however. Nobody was ever going to treat me like a grown-up again.

Insulting Bella this afternoon was stupid and I deserved to be punished for it. If anyone else had said such things to my Bella, I would have wanted to beat them myself. I knew that it was nearly over when Jasper slowed down and gave me ten final smacks, right in the centre of my backside, covering half of each cheek. I gasped a bit with each smack, and lay there breathing heavily, as if I'd just run a marathon, when he finished. Jasper stopped long before I would have done. He dealt enough blows for me to be in pain, but not enough to make me collapse into a sobbing mess.

"Bella will probably have something to add," Jasper said calmly.

Unbidden, the image of myself laid over Bella's lap rose up in my mind. It wasn't exactly an unwelcome image. If I was going to be laid over anyone's knee, half-naked, I would like it to be Bella's. I wouldn't mind the feel of her warm hand against my skin. I wouldn't even mind if she hit me hard enough for it to sting.

Hastily, I pushed the image away. I would crush Bella if I lay on her, and she would break her wrist if she attempted to strike me, even in play. That certainly wasn't what Jasper meant. But, what exactly _did _Jasper mean?

"Sir?" I asked, not really knowing what to ask him.

Jasper chuckled, "well, I don't mean that she's here now, or anything," he said, "I just mean that you insulted her and I'm sure that you won't get away scot-free. This punishment was from me. You'll have to square things with Bella on your own. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Edward," he spoke in a warning tone and I wondered what I'd done wrong now. I hadn't moved. I hadn't contradicted him. I had just said 'yes, sir' in a respectful tone. Of course, that was what he was annoyed by. It was just so natural to call him 'sir' when he was disciplining me. I ought to remember that he was my brother.

"Sorry, Jasper," I said.

"You may get up now" he relaxed as I stood and dressed myself. "The girls are out tonight," he reminded me, "will you come into the lounge and keep Emmett and me company?"

I wondered if I had any choice. Was Jasper going to order me to hang around with him and Emmett? "Um . . . must I?" I asked in a smaller voice than I would usually use to address my big brother.

"No," Jasper replied slowly and carefully, "I don't want to force you to stay with us. But, I really think that you'll be happier sooner if you stay downstairs. I would rather you didn't run away; but I won't demand that you stay."

As far as I was concerned, the only sensible thing to do after being spanked is to retreat to your own room, curl up in a ball and allow yourself to cry. Still, the girls would come home once Bella went to sleep, and then Emmett and Jasper would cease to be interested in my company. I could indulge myself in a proper session of guilt and misery later. Right now it was probably a bad idea to ignore Jasper's suggestions, however gently they were made.

"Alright," I said, "I'll come with you."

Jasper grinned at me, "great," he said, "you need a real distraction after all that drama."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: This is not the sort of thing that occurs in the 'Twilight' books. I have abused Stephanie Meyer's characters for my own (and possibly your) amusement.

Author's Note: If you read 'What didn't happen' then this chapter fits in nicely, it takes place after chapter 14. If you're not reading it then this takes place after the Cullens lost Victoria and Emmett crossed the border into La Push. Jasper is annoyed because Edward was a bit rude to Alice. Hope that makes some sort of sense.

Final Warning: This story is a spankfic (look, I learnt a new term!), so it contains corporal punishment and lots of references to corporal punishment. If that upsets you, please look away now.

Alice and Esme were guarding Bella. Rose and Emmett were in the garage. Carlisle was in his office, reading up on some new trials in Munich. I was listening to music in my room, when I heard Jasper.

"Edward, I'm waiting for you in my study," he called out, just loud enough for the entire house to hear him. He didn't sound impatient, but I knew that he would only call me into his study for one reason. It was time to discuss how my apologies had gone.

I walked down at human speed, hoping that he wouldn't scold me for delaying. I just wanted a few seconds to prepare myself. The last time that I had been in Jasper's study, I had wound up humiliated and crying. I wasn't looking forward to coming face to face with Major Whitlock again.

I ran through the past couple of days in my head. I thought that I'd made good progress on my apologies. I had slipped up a bit, however. Jasper had scolded me in front of Bella for being rude to Alice this afternoon. Would that form a part of tonight's 'chat'? I slipped my hand around the back of my pants. They were perfectly normal pants with no over-sized loops on the back. Of course, no 'handles' didn't necessarily mean that I wasn't going to go over Jasper's lap. He could quite reasonably expect me to submit this time, without needing me to haul me across the room himself.

Even though I knew that he was expecting me, I knocked on the door and waited for him to summon me before I entered.

He was sat in the same chair, I felt a twinge of remembered pain on my ass. I shut the door behind me, just in case, and stood smartly, with my hands behind my back. This time I knew that he wasn't going to offer me a seat. If he'd indicated a chair, I think that I would have bent over it rather than sat in it.

"Do you know what I want to talk with you about?" Jasper asked me.

I frowned, "um . . . I have two ideas," I admitted, "you had told me that you were going to want to hear how my apologies had gone, so I think that you're going to ask me about that."

"What's your other idea?"

"I was rather rude to Alice this afternoon, I thought that conversation might not be over yet," I admitted. Hoping that I hadn't just put a new idea into his head.

"Let's take them one at a time," Jasper said, "how have your apologies gone?"

"I think that they've gone pretty well," I said, wondering how much detail he was going to want. "Alice said that she'd already forgiven me, er . . . she said that she'd like it if I spent some time with her. And I've got permission from Carlisle and Esme to go shopping with her at the weekend. So, I'm hoping that I am starting to make amends in a manner of her choosing. Carlisle and Esme said the same. I've been working on fixing the damage that I did to the house and Carlisle asked me to calmly accept the rest of my punishment. He said that would be sufficient amends. Rose said that she understood, and she asked me to wax her cars for her. She says that she considers the matter to be closed. It was kind of hard to apologise to Emmett; he thought that my behaviour was funny and didn't see any need for me to apologise. But I think that I managed?" I let my voice rise at the end, desperately hoping that Jasper would say something. He just nodded for me to go on. "Um . . . you were there when I apologised to you," I said, "and you told me that I was forgiven and you wanted me to practice being more thoughtful. I am trying to do so." He still didn't respond. "Apologising to Bella has been complicated. But . . . um . . . we had a good conversation today and she made me promise not to do anything similar again. I have apologised to Charlie, but he hasn't suggested any amends yet. I don't know if he is going to come up with something soon." I stopped, but Jasper didn't say anything.

I began to worry. I'd reached the end of my run of apologies. Did Jasper think that I should have apologised to anyone else?

"I'm afraid, those are all the apologies that I've made," I confessed, "have I missed anyone?"

Jasper smiled at me, "don't you know the answer to that? Are you satisfied that you have apologised to everyone to whom you owe an apology?" _He's probably listening to my thoughts again, I should be careful what I think. _

I racked my brains. Had anyone else been hurt by my actions? Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Bella, Charlie, Renee. "I think that I owe Renee an apology too," I admitted, "I haven't apologised to her yet. I will write a letter."

Jasper nodded.

"I can't think of anyone else," I said, hoping that I wasn't wrong.

_He's very respectful this time_ Jasper thought."Very well," he said, "are you satisfied with your apologies?"

"It's hard," I said honestly, "I think that sometimes I struggle to express myself in words. Not everyone thinks that I'm utterly sincere, especially in my offer to make amends. Charlie doesn't believe me, Emmett thinks it's a joke, Esme says that I never need to make amends with her."

_Nervous, has he been conscientious just because he's afraid of being punished again? Even so, it is a start. It takes children a long time to learn responsibility. _"There's no reason why it should be easy" he told me.

I felt ashamed again. I was the one who was supposed to be fixing things, and I was standing here disappointed that people weren't helping me enough, "no, sir," I said.

_Shame, poor boy. He is trying, I think. _"Alright," he said, "I think that you're doing a good job. We'll talk about this again after a few more days. Let's move on to the next matter. Do you want to start?" _Let's see how much he's learnt about analysing his own behaviour._

I sighed, I had thought that it was hard to stand in front of Jasper and listen to him condemn me, but it was even harder to stand here and condemn myself. Hard, but necessary. He had been very right, I had needed someone to hold me accountable. I needed a strict authority figure right now, and Jasper was able to be strict with me in a way that Carlisle couldn't bear to be. "I let my emotions run away with me this afternoon," I said, "I forgot the respect that I owe Alice and I was rude to her."

"But, you apologised," Jasper said, "so why do you think that you need to bring it up again now?"

I wasn't sure that I knew the answer to that. Why did I think I should bring it up? "You suggested that I needed to work on controlling my emotions," I said, "so I thought that you would want to bring it up again later. I know that you were angry with me. I thought that you might want to punish me."

_Baby steps, _Jasper thought to himself, _I can't expect him to change overnight. _"So?" he asked me, while I was still wondering what he had been thinking about, "you want me to spank you again?"

"No!" I shouted, then I felt embarrassed. I hadn't wanted him to know quite how awful that last session had been.

_That was a real burst of fear. I was wrong to worry about being too soft on him last time. _

"Sorry," I said, ashamed of my outburst, "I meant to say that it wasn't really my place to determine what punishment I deserved. I am ready to submit to your judgement."

He nodded slowly, "that's good," he said, "I am pleased with the changes in your behaviour."

I smiled. I had expected him to be disappointed in me. I was still worried about the 'baby steps' thought, but I was thrilled to hear him say that he was actually pleased with me. Pleasing Jasper now, after how angry he had been with me before, felt great.

_That is quite sweet._ He thought.

I stopped smiling, I wasn't sure that I liked being 'sweet' as much as I liked pleasing Jasper.

_Listening again, you shouldn't think that he's sweet, poor guy. _"Try to concentrate on my words and not my thoughts," he reminded me. "I am pleased that you've been working hard, but being rude to Alice isn't acceptable. There have been quite a few of this minor incidents recently, when I've had to remind you of your manners. You shouldn't need reminding. You should remember to be polite. I won't tolerate you being disrespectful. Impoliteness of any sort is unacceptable."

I looked up at him, waiting for him to order me back over his knee.

_Dread,_ he thought, _I'm scarier than I thought. Or he's just not at all used to authority figures. _"Come here," Jasper said.

I walked over to him and, let him guide me down over his lap. He arranged me in the same way as before, though this time there was no hesitation before he stripped back my pants and underpants. "I'm going to spank you" Jasper said, though that was pretty obvious by this point, "because you let your emotions control you again and you were rude to a lady. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I said, just hoping that this wasn't going to be quite as bad as last time.

Jasper sighed slightly, then he commenced my punishment. His hand cracked down hard, I winced as the first blow reminded me of the last time I'd been in this position. I recalled precisely the pathetic, sobbing mess that I'd been by the end of my first discipline session with Jasper.

The first crack also did something else, it alerted the household as to what was going on in here. I heard Carlisle's guilty wonder as to why Jasper was spanking me again, hadn't my punishment been finished last time? Carlisle was wondering if he ought to intervene. He was remembering his conversation with Esme, and their agreement to let Jasper handle me for now.

Rose and Emmett were in the garage and they both turned towards the house at the characteristic sound. Emmett couldn't believe that I was submitting to this. There was no way that he would ever allow Jasper to beat him. He would be more than happy to wrestle the Major, but there was no way that he would just bend over. Emmett was wondering what I could possibly be thinking, didn't I know that Carlisle was my father, not Jasper?

Rose's thoughts were different, she winced at the sound and wondered if I was alright. She was unhappy thinking that I was in pain and wondered why I was so quiet. She was considering asking Emmett to come in and check on me. But, then she thought that I might find that more embarrassing. She decided to talk to Jasper about it later, to check that he knew what he was doing and wasn't just hurting me because he was still angry.

They could easily have heard the conversation that we'd been having before, but it didn't sound as though any of them had been paying much attention.

Jasper kept on smacking in his tight, controlled way, two smacks a second, every one exactly the same pressure as all the others. It definitely hurt. But, it was reassuring to know that Jasper was in perfect control of himself. That was what he was trying to teach me: perfect self-control, so that I wouldn't growl and hiss at my siblings, and I wouldn't fly off the handle and destroy my belongings.

I would be good, I promised myself, and I would not make trips over Jasper's lap into a regular habit. For one thing, it really hurt.

He held on to me with his left arm and spanked with his right. I knew that he was only holding me in place to stop me squirming or falling down with the force of his blows, but I liked it anyway. Jasper's firm left arm holding me in place, grounding me, making me feel safe and under control. Until I could regain self-control, it was nice to trust that I would be safe under Jasper's faultless control.

The steady, and by now familiar, rhythm continued. Each smack adding more heat and pain to my backside. Once again, I reached the point where I was beyond thinking of anything but my own pain.

I couldn't hear anyone's thoughts, I couldn't really hear my own. All I was able to think was a child's cry.

I heard myself groan. It was just a quiet, sorry sound. It was the only way I could express my misery: I was in well-deserved pain. I was sorry that it hurt and sorry that I had earned it.

I was only a handful of blows away from bawling like a baby. Then it stopped.

Much quicker than last time, Jasper ceased. He still held me firmly with his left hand, but his right hand stopped moving and simply rested lightly on the small of my back.

"Alright?" he asked, "how are you feeling?" _Chastened_, he thought to himself unable to hold off from answering his own question, _but not broken._

I was confused by the question, "um . . . it hurts," I said.

He laughed slightly, "well, that means that I was doing it right," he said, "do you understand why I did that?"

"Yes, it was because I let my emotions control me and I was rude," I said, I was very good at remembering what I'd been told.

_Happy? _He was thinking, _I'm going to have to talk to someone about this. Carlisle? Maybe Alice at first. But, of course, he's listening. I could talk to her at Bella's. Or I could talk to Bella._

"You may get up and get dressed," Jasper told me, "then I want you to take a seat and have a chat with me." _This time, it is an order_, he remembered how reluctant I'd been to spend time with him after my previous beatings, and skipped the choice altogether.

I did as he asked, sitting down gingerly. I was going to feel sore for an hour or so.

"How is it going with Bella?" Jasper asked me.

It should have been a surprising change of subject. But, all that I ever thought about these days was Bella. I was always ready to talk about her. And Jasper, whatever else he might be to me right now, would always be a good listener. "Alright, I think. I don't think that she really trusts me again yet," I told him.

He nodded, "that will probably take time," he agreed. _Which he doesn't have a lot of left. We'll have to let him out of the house sooner, or change her later._ "Are you worried about that?" he asked.

"More like petrified," there was no point in trying to conceal emotions from Jasper and, recently, I had felt as though he already knew everything about me, not only my feelings. It was beginning to feel as though he could read my mind more effectively than I could read his. "I think that she's still expecting me to leave her again."

"You're expecting her to do the same," he said.

I nodded. It was true that I kept watching for signs that she was going to leave me.

"Maybe you need to learn to trust each other," Jasper offered.

I liked the sound of that. It sounded like the sort of thing that couples would do.

"Why haven't you asked her yet?" _Afraid she'll say no? Or more afraid she'll say yes? _He wondered whether I was more afraid of being turned down or tied down.

I frowned, it ought to be obvious, especially to an empath, how I felt about Bella. "Of course I want to marry her," I said, "but we've only just got back together. Today she asked me to promise that I wouldn't go back to Italy if she died. It wasn't exactly the right time for a proposal."

_What is he saying: that he's waiting constantly for the right moment to propose? _"How will you know when it is the right time?" he asked me.

Rose had pricked up her ears when she'd heard me mention proposing. _Doesn't he want to propose before she's changed? _She was wondering. _I would have wanted to. If it had been possible, I would have asked Emmett if he wanted me, before I condemned him to live with me forever._ She looked sadly at her mate, who flashed her a grin and asked her if she fancied . . . ah, something that was none of my business.

Carlisle was listening too, he was pleased to hear that I was considering my proposal. He was sure that Bella would say 'yes'; so sure that he was already musing over timing of our graduation, our wedding and her change into a vampire.

_What's he thinking about? _Jasper's unspoken curiosity broke through my abstraction and reminded me that I was supposed to be having a conversation with him, not with the rest of the household.

"Um . . . I want it to be special," I said, "I don't want to blurt out a proposal in the middle of an argument. I don't want to ask her to marry me at school, or in the lounge. I want to take her somewhere, to make an occasion of it."

Jasper remembered proposing to Alice. He remembered the nerves and the terror that she would say 'no'. Of course, she must have seen it coming, so he had been trying to read her face, to guess her answer. She had smiled at him encouragingly, but he still hadn't believed that she would accept him until she did. He concentrated on my feelings now and compared them to the feelings he had experienced then. _More nervous,_ he concluded, _but more hopeful too. He has high expectations of this marriage, providing she agrees to take him. Ah, that's what young love is supposed to be like._

"Of course you do," he said, "you're going shopping with Alice tomorrow morning. Would you like to take Bella out next weekend?"

"Yes, I would, but . . ." I didn't know how to put this. How could I say that I didn't want to push my luck.

He smirked at me, "no promises," he said, "but I'll chat to Carlisle, if you like. Or we could both go and talk to him together."

I did like that idea.

"In the morning," Jasper said, "Rose and Emmett will take over guard duty; we can talk to Esme and Carlisle together before he goes into the hospital." _Of course they'll say 'yes', they'd probably expect me to be the only one who would forbid it. Carlisle checked with me before he gave Edward permission to go shopping with Alice._

"Thank you," I said. I wanted to thank him for more than just his spoken words, but he had repeatedly told me not to answer his unspoken thoughts.

"Will you propose next weekend?" he asked me.

I shrugged, "maybe," I said. It depended on how things went with Bella. I wanted a perfect evening to be the setting for my proposal. I wouldn't try it, if she was angry about anything. I wondered if it was too big a risk to send her more flowers. Was there any chance that flowers would please her? Last time I'd sent some she'd been angry. But, then, afterwards she'd said that I could buy her flowers again if I wanted. She may have been speaking under the influence of my kisses, however. On the other hand, she had been happy when I gave her the book. Maybe she was changing her mind about gifts. She had even made some use of the phone.

Jasper knew that I was worried, "are you worrying about how to ask her?"

"No, I know exactly what I want to say. I'm wondering how to prepare her. She doesn't always like it when I buy her gifts."

"Then don't buy her gifts."

Rose laughed suddenly at that. "I know what you should buy her," she said, "buy her another one of the things that she left under your bed."

I shuddered.

Jasper pretended not to hear, or not to be interested. I heard him think rapidly, _what on earth did Bella leave under his bed? Obviously something that he doesn't want to talk about. Actually, if it's something private between the two of them it might be a good gift. But he doesn't want to hear me say – or think – that. _"Perhaps you should just dress up nice and take her somewhere where she'll be comfortable" he said, "if she doesn't like gifts, you should probably settle for trying to get her to accept the ring for now."

The ring! Bella would probably hate it. I would like her to wear my mother's ring. But, it was very pretty and very expensive. I couldn't remember seeing Bella wearing any rings at all, ever. She would probably, no, almost certainly, refuse the ring.

Sensing my panic, Jasper offered another piece of advice, "don't propose in public, and try not to go crazy if she refuses you. Perhaps we should arrange for Alice and I to be near by, just in case."

He was remembering what I'd been like the night we got home.

I grimaced at the memory, both of the night itself, and of the 'chat' that Jasper and I had had about it since then.

He monitored my emotions and nodded again, "take your time," he said, "you could just spend a bit more time enjoying each other's company before you propose."

I nodded.

"Alright," Jasper said in a new, brisk tone, he was done sympathising with me now, "I'm going to go and find Alice. I'll see you in the morning."

I nodded again, "thanks, Jasper," I said.

He grinned at me and we left his study together.

Carlisle came out into the hallway to meet us. "Come and play cribbage with me, Edward?" he asked.

He was thinking about evenings that we had spent together long ago, before the others joined us. I remembered those times too. It had not been a perfect time. I had been confused and unhappy with my new 'life'. I had been lonely and missed my family. But there had been pleasant moments. I remembered enjoying playing cribbage with Carlisle. I was grateful that he offered to recreate one of those evenings with me now. I was feeling confused and unhappy again. I accepted Carlisle's invitation gratefully.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I didn't write 'Twilight'. I wrote this.

Warning: this is a spank-fic: a story with themes of discipline and punishment. Please only read it if you like that sort of thing.

Obviously, I shouldn't have lost my temper. It wasn't Alice's fault that she hadn't seen the vampire visiting Bellas' house. Bella and Charlie were both safe, completely untouched. I knew that Alice couldn't watch everything. She watched Bella and she watched Charlie. It was absurd for me to expect her to watch Bella's house as well.

As soon as I yelled, I knew that I was in trouble. Jasper had raised one eyebrow and looked at me. He had wondered if I was going to calm myself down.

But then Rose had stepped in. She'd berated me – perfectly fairly, I saw now – for my lack of manners and reminded me that, ultimately, all contact that Bella had with vampires was my fault. She'd reminded me of Bella's solution and of my strenuous objections.

Then, I'd . . . even remembering it in the privacy of my own room was hard . . . I'd snapped at Rose. Emmett had stepped in front of his mate. Carlisle and Jasper had grabbed me from behind. Jasper had told me that I was in no condition to take part in an adult conversation and sent me to my room.

I remembered Rose and Emmett's shock, when Jasper spoke to me like that. They didn't understand why he treated me as a child. They were younger than me and they would never stand for such treatment. Esme could scold them, Carlisle could punish them, but Jasper was their brother and he ought to act like one. He was my brother too, so why was he sending me to my room?

I remembered Esme and Carlisle looking at me with sad eyes. They wished that I was back in control of myself. They hoped that Jasper was doing the right thing. They hoped that they were right in letting him take me in hand. I sighed at that thought, remembering Bella's joke about military school. This was the Cullen equivalent: letting the Major administer the discipline that he saw fit and hoping that he would be able to make me behave myself.

Alice winced at her vision of the afternoon. She decided to take Jasper out 'hunting' as soon as the meeting was over. They needed time alone and Jasper needed a chance to relax before he had to deal with me again.

My entire family were disappointed. They had all hoped that the spanking would be a one-time-only thing. They had all thought that Jasper would fix me right away. They didn't expect the they would have to listen to Jasper's hard smacks and my desperate sobs ever again. They were all already bracing themselves for the afternoon's performance. Everyone knew what was going to happen.

So, when, a few hours later, Jasper sat in his office and said quietly, "Edward, I have a spare hour or so; I'll see you now," I heard a collective gasp.

It was time for me to face the music. I winced at the thoughts of everyone as they pictured me back over Jasper's lap. I didn't appreciate Emmett's picture, which showed me bawling like a little girl. Everyone immediately tried to block their minds. Emmett and Rose thought of one another. Carlisle thought about work; Esme about her garden. Alice saw the need to occupy her mind for a while and began trying to rank all the prom dresses that she had ever worn in order of preference. Jasper, who hadn't been taken by surprise and so managed not to picture me in a delicate situation, focused his thoughts on his Alice. He was already considering her Christmas present. Every year, he tried to surprise her, and every year he failed. He was wondering, this year, whether he could use the wolves to block her vision. How would that work? He was planning it like a military campaign.

Emmett was having trouble with this. He didn't really like the idea of me getting spanked: he thought that it set a bad precedent for Jasper to start punishing his brothers. But, on the other hand, he was still pretty annoyed at my attack on his wife. He thought that I'd gone too far this time, and certainly deserved some kind of suffering. He was contemplating joining me and Jasper in the study, demanding to take Jasper's place and administer my beating himself. Alice must have seen his plans, because she stood up and asked him to take her out. She said that she couldn't stand to hear it all again and she needed Emmett to accompany her in case she ran into the mystery visitor. Emmett couldn't refuse to escort his little sister, so he went with her and the two of them left the house.

I trudged down to Jasper's study, my feet felt like lead. It was as though my desire to avoid the inevitable had robbed me of my grace and speed. Why did Jasper say that he had 'a spare hour or so'? How long was this going to take? Jasper hadn't shown himself inclined to give long lectures, he would probably have said all that he was going to say in about thirty seconds. What on earth was he going to do with the next 59 and a half minutes? For how long was he going to have me over his lap? I grimaced, thinking about the first spanking. It had gone on and on and had almost driven me mad. It would make sense for Jasper to be especially furious at me now. I had been given several chances to improve my behaviour, and I had failed.

I couldn't hesitate any longer without irritating Jasper, and I really didn't want to do that. I knocked on his study door and waited for his summons.

He was wearing his cursed riding boots again. Did he know that looking at them reminded me of physical pain now? When I was bent over his lap, that was all that I could see of him, his blasted boots mocking me while I absorbed every smack and pressed my lips together to keep myself from screaming.

"Leave the door open," he said.

I obeyed miserably. I liked the pretence of privacy that I got from closing the door. But, I understood that I wasn't supposed to be in control of this situation. That's why I had to wait in my room for Jasper to summon me. I was the one being punished, so I should act humbly and obediently. Of course, everyone could hear us just as well, whether the door was open or shut. I knew that Alice had seen perfectly well what Jasper was going to do to me. It wasn't any kind of secret, but I was miserable that he told me to leave the door open.

"Thank you," Jasper said softly, "alright, Edward, let's get started. Why do I have you standing here in front of me again?"

I considered replying "because you summoned me", but I suspected that Jasper wouldn't laugh. He sounded tired. He was running through the school code of conduct in his head. I'm not sure why. I guess he needed to recite something to block me. Perhaps it occurred to him because he was feeling like a headmaster again. "I'm here because I lost my temper during a family discussion," I confessed meekly, "I yelled at everyone and I attempted to attack Rosalie."

_I wonder why he didn't succeed_, Jasper mused, _now, if I had gone for Rose . . . _He analysed the fight, wondering why I had been so easy to stop and plotting out how, in my position, he would have got past Emmett and Carlisle. The hardest part was planning out how to get past his own grip. He thought of how he'd held on to me and considered possible ways of slipping out of his own grip. _Then, I'd just leap straight over Emmett's head and . . . Ah, I can't believe that I let myself consider how to attack Rose._ "That was very naughty," he told me suddenly, trying to compensate for his thoughts.

I stared hard at the floor, focussing on the pain that Jasper was about to inflict on me to stop myself from grinning. Smirking at him when he told me that I had been naughty would definitely earn me more time over his knee. I stared at the floor and concentrated on unpleasant thoughts.

"I believe that we have unfinished business from the last time you came to see me," Jasper said, "how have your apologies been going?"

"I wrote to Renee and her reply was very gracious," I told him. "I've been helping Esme around the house more, and she seems pleased. I was good when Alice took me shopping. She said that I behaved very well." I sighed a bit, it wasn't the greatest feeling to be pleading that your sister had been pleased with your behaviour.

Jasper smiled, "I think that you've been working hard," he said, "I think that you really have made amends for what you did."

I stared at him, trying to work out if he really meant it. Could I really have succeeded in making amends? I had believed that it was impossible to ever make up for my stupidity and selfishness. Now, after only a few weeks, Jasper was saying that he was pleased.

_How much he covets praise_, Jasper thought, _what a childhood he must have had_. "Unfortunately," he said, "you haven't finished learning to control your emotions. You are still reacting emotionally at times. In particular, you seem to have trouble not reacting when you feel angry." I hung my head. "You do understand why this is dangerous for you?" Jasper prompted me.

"Yes, sir."

He nodded curtly. _Of course he does, theory is easy for him._ "Do you want to be less controlled by your anger?"

"Definitely, sir."

_What would Maria have done with a boy like this? _Jasper thought. _She wouldn't have gotten rid of him (of course, her reasoning wouldn't have been mine, she'd have valued his gift, not his character), but she wouldn't have tolerated his lack of control either. She'd have broken his spirit: thrashed him daily until he cowered whenever he saw her. Is that what I'm doing? I swore that I would never treat anyone the way that she did._

Jasper sighed, "do you think that my spanking you is going to make the slightest bit of difference?" he asked, "haven't I spanked you for cheeking Alice before?"

"I'm sorry," I said, "it was the suddenness and the extreme nature of my concern. I was taken by surprise by my anger this time and I failed to control it. I have been trying to improve and I had hoped that my last punishment had been followed by better behaviour on my part."

He considered this. _It was different, I guess. Last time I scolded him it was for getting worked up about nothing. He hasn't done that again. In fairness, his feelings were very strong. But, he has to control strong emotions as well as passing ones. There's no argument that he was in the wrong, but is it worth bothering to punish him?_ "I don't like repeating myself," he said.

"No, sir."

_And I don't really like being the bad guy. He's afraid of me. That means that I should just let him go. I don't want to make him more afraid._

_ But, why is he so scared right now? I haven't been threatening him, I've been implying that I might not bother to beat him, so what's he so worried about? Does he think that he'd get worse at Carlisle's hands? _"What are you so worried about?" he asked me, though he thought, _worried doesn't cover it. Edward's terrified._

"I'm worried about what comes after a spanking," I said, "I'm worried that if you give up on trying to teach me to behave myself, I don't know what will happen to me."

Jasper gave me a sudden grin, "we'd have to lock you up," he said, "and keep you in the basement, like a dangerous dog."

I stared at him, trying to work out if he was serious. If he kept me in the basement, would that mean that I'd never see Bella again?

Jasper laughed, "it was a joke, Edward. Don't panic," I felt a wave of calm force me to obey him, "I'm not saying that I'm going to give up on you." _I'm just wondering whether I'm doing you any good whatsoever. But, I don't know what comes after a spanking. If this doesn't work, we'll have to rethink our approach. _"I'm never going to give up on you." _At worst, I'll demand that Carlisle deals with his temper. I wonder if we could drug him. Probably not, since he doesn't have a bloodstream. Of course, I could keep him permanently calm, like a walking-talking sedative. I'm not sure that Alice would be impressed if Edward and I were attached at the hip. Much as she likes him, there are times . . . _"Tell me what happened, what were you thinking?"

"I was angry," I said, "because Bella was in danger and I wanted to blame someone. I was scared that she might get hurt. I felt guilty because I hadn't protected her and angry because I can't. I know that you told me to accept being grounded, because I deserve it, but it's still hard to be away from Bella, when she isn't safe."

Jasper nodded. "You're allowed to feel whatever you want. You're not allowed to act on every feeling that you have."

I sighed, "Rose was saying that I wasn't helping the situation by digging my heels in about Bella's transformation. Then she remembered her first suggestion, that I just go ahead and feed from Bella. I was furious at what I saw in her mind and I wanted to destroy it."

Jasper considered this. He remembered snapping the necks of his victims because he couldn't bear to feel their pain anymore. He understood that my gift left me open to be assailed by unpleasant thoughts at difficult times. _An explanation,_ he thought, _but not an excuse._

"There is no excuse for my actions," I agreed.

Instead of being pleased with my agreement, Jasper hissed at me. "Answer my words and not my thoughts," he said, "I'm not always in complete control of my thoughts."

He glared at me, and I knew that I was going to suffer for my slip. It wasn't fair. Jasper knew what it was like to have an intrusive gift. I couldn't help hearing his thoughts anymore than he could help feeling my emotions. He shouldn't be mad at me for what I can't control.

"Damned hypocrite," I muttered. Why I said that aloud, I don't think I will ever know. It was a very, very bad idea.

"Master Masen," Jasper said, his voice dripping with venom, "did you just cuss at me?"

To think that I already thought that I was in trouble. This was real trouble, he was going to kill me. He was waiting for my answer. "I did, sir, but I instantly regretted it," I offered, wondering if that would relieve him of the duty to _make_ me regret it.

_'Instantly regretted it' _he thought to himself, "I should make you wash your mouth out with soap," he said.

Was he going to?

"Yes, I think I will; it will be less work for me, than giving you an extra beating," he said, answering my thoughts. He's right, it is weird when people do that. Of course with Jasper it was a coincidence, he didn't really know what I was thinking. It was still odd. No wonder he keeps trying to stop me from doing that.

I knew that we did have soap by the bathroom sink. The only person who ever needed to use it was Bella, but Esme had always ensured that the house was fully equipped to handle human visitors, even before we'd ever had any.

Jasper nodded at his door, which was meant to indicate that I should go and get on with it. I grimaced a bit at the very thought of soap in my mouth. I know that vampires don't get nauseated and sick, but putting soap in my mouth was surely going to test that theory.

One glance at Jasper's stern expression was enough to convince me that I wasn't going to be able to talk myself out of this. I let my shoulders slump in a gesture of defeat so that he would know I had no intention of defying him again.

Jasper put his hand on my shoulder and steered me out of the room. We went into the bathroom nearest his study. He pushed me in front of the sink, and stood looming over me. There was a fresh cake of lavender scented soap resting by the sink. I glared at it, hating the soap for existing and allowing Jasper to impose this particular punishment on me.

It's not as though I thought it was alright to swear at Jasper, I did know that swearing was impolite and I did know that I ought to be extremely polite to Jasper. No punishment was required to remind me of how I ought to behave. I already knew. Jasper just wanted me to suffer.

He leant past me and turned on the cold tap. Roughly, he seized my hair and twisted my head under the tap. I didn't try to resist him, there was no point in angering him further. For a second, I wondered what I looked like to Jasper right now, bent awkwardly over the sink, my face wet, the edges of my hair dripping with water. I must look a mess. Still holding me by my hair, Jasper pulled my jaw with his other hand. Guessing what he wanted, I opened my mouth widely so it filled with water. Before there was a chance for the venom to fill my mouth and wash the water out again, Jasper had taken the cake of soap and pushed it into my mouth.

The taste was disgusting and extremely strong. Though it smelt floral, the soap tasted incredibly bitter. I wasn't used to feeling any solid objects in my mouth at all, so the presence of the soap would have been enough to make me gag, even without the intense flavour. Jasper really did wash my mouth out, pushing the soap against my cheeks and my tongue to work up a lather. The bubbles formed in my mouth, and that was yet another unpleasant sensation. It took all my self-control to stop me pulling away from Jasper.

My teeth shredded the soap, leaving me with a mouthful of soap flakes and bubbles. Jasper released me and I fell against the sink. I hadn't realised that he'd been holding me up. I steadied myself. I spluttered and coughed and got rid of the soap, but I couldn't get rid of the taste. I gulped at the water that was still flowing from the faucet, rinsing out my mouth. The bitter lanolin flavour wouldn't go away and I was still spitting out bubbles.

Not caring how stupid I looked, I gulped more water and gargled it, desperately trying to clear my palette. Again and again I rinsed my mouth, but the taste of soap was just as strong as before. Impatiently, Jasper pulled me by the arm. "Come on, Edward, we've got a lot to do," he said. I forced myself to obey his movement and to let him drag me back to his study.

Jasper returned to his seat and I returned to my position in front of him. I was wet and I felt stupid. I was also angry. Though it had been rude of me to swear at Jasper, I didn't really think that my punishment had been fair. I was feeling sick and disgusted and there didn't seem to be any way of getting rid of the taste of soap. I wouldn't be able to hunt for hours. It wasn't fair that a couple of words, which had been said in only a few seconds, should result in my mouth being soapy for hours on end.

While I was still inwardly fuming, I heard Emmett's Jeep coming up the drive. That was strange. Hadn't Alice said that she wanted to avoid the noise? She must have seen that my punishment hadn't even begun yet, let alone finished.

"You will treat me with respect," Jasper told me, "if you don't know how to behave when being punished, you will return tomorrow and get some more practice."

His voice was stern now, the time for messing about and discussing my motives was passed. It was time to get on with the unpleasant task of disciplining me.

"Yes, sir," I said, hanging my head again. Hadn't he tortured me enough? On top of filling my mouth with soap, he was threatening to repeat my punishment tomorrow. Still, he had only said that he would repeat the punishment if I continued to be disrespectful. If I behaved properly from now on, then I could probably end this here.

_ Stupid threat to make, _he thought, _I'll be almost as irritated as him, if I end up having to carry it out. Why would I set myself up to repeat this uncomfortable experience tomorrow? _"Just behave yourself," he said. Then, strangely, he let his mind slip. All the times that I had been scolded by Jasper, he had never allowed himself to think about spanking me. He had blocked his mind with nonsense, or thought about what we were saying to one another. He had never allowed himself to picture me, half-naked, held firmly over his knee, silent and tense as he beat me. Now, he did. I saw myself through his eyes. I saw my tense body laid out, my ass bare and vulnerable. I saw my bowed head and I saw the way I twisted it when I was holding in my cries of pain. I saw Jasper's hand cracking down on my skin. I felt the sting in his hand from his memory and the sting in my ass from my own. It was horrible. It was as though I was somehow spanking myself. I held my breath, hoping that the images going through his mind would stop, or that I would be able to tear my mind away from his. But, it was like a train-wreck, I couldn't look away.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to 'Twilight'.

Warning: this remains a violent story with scenes of corporal punishment, and, in this chapter only, biting. Please don't read it, if you find that sort of thing distressing.

Author's Note: I'm actually worried about this chapter. I'm not sure that you'll like it. But, this is where the story was always headed, so I'm going to put it up here anyway. Please remember, I wrote this to amuse myself. If you enjoy reading it, then please keep reading. If you don't like reading it, then stop, there isn't going to be an exam.

I looked up, pleading with Jasper to think about something else and I caught his eye.

Horror came over his face. I wasn't sure if it was mine or his. He looked away from my gaze quickly, blanking his mind by carefully counting the stripes on my shirt that I was wearing, then finding the square-root of 13. He wondered if Alice had picked out my pants again. Then he stood up, stepped over to me and grabbed hold of me, easily lifting me into the air. He swung me round, rapidly, pulling me back with him to his seat and throwing me over his lap. Briskly, and efficiently, he pulled my arms over my head and pressed my hands into the floor. Then he whipped down my pants. He swung his leg around and tucked it behind my knees so that I was held firmly in place. In the space of three seconds, I went from standing, facing Jasper across the room, to lying over his knee with my pants around my ankles.

I wondered why he had moved so fast, why he was holding me down so tightly and why he had left my underpants in place and then I heard it.

Jasper's movements had obscured the noise, but now that he was still, I heard it clearly. I could hear Bella's heartbeat. I would know her heartbeat anywhere.

"Bella" I said, so quietly that I was almost breathing her name. Now that I was breathing again, I could smell her. I could hear her moving, she was walking into the lounge, next to Alice. Their steps were close together.

I heard Alice say that I wouldn't be long and she should read to pass the time. I was surprised at the inanity of Alice's suggestion and at her idiocy in letting Bella into the house right now. Bella would be distressed.

I had to go to her. I tried to stand up, but Jasper pressed me down by the shoulders with both hands.

I writhed and turned and tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but his hands tightened on me, rather than weakening.

I was in a vulnerable position, bent double over his knee, my head hanging down next to his leg. I twisted my head around and sank my teeth hard into Jasper's calf.

_Aaargh! _I only heard his scream inside his head. He kept his lips tightly closed.

He stamped down on my ankles with his right foot. It didn't hurt much, but it made the point pretty clearly.

"You don't want to fight me," he said coolly. His annoyance and pain were safely compartmentalised in his mind. All that he gave me was calm authority. Alice's return to the house signalled Jasper's return to his calm, detached manner. Even when she wasn't in the same room, Alice exerted a force that brought Jasper out of his old killer mentality and into the controlled adult mindset that he usually held. She softened him and gentrified him. Alice gave Jasper a human side, which made his violent determination a strength and not a weapon.

Now, for example he was cursing in his head, but he wasn't attacking me in retribution. That one stomp had been carefully measured and planned. It held me in place and reminded me of his strength, but he didn't allow it to open the flood gates and pour his own fury onto me. _Ow! Ow! That is seriously painful._ _At least his teeth are clean. I suppose if you're going to have a vampire latched on to your leg, it's better to have a freshly washed one. _I heard him trying to distract himself from the pain.

It was true that I didn't want to fight him. If I fought Jasper, I would lose. He was better than I was at fighting. He had fed more recently than I had done. He was definitely stronger than me at the moment. The previous beatings had an effect on me too. Each time Jasper made me submit to him, it increased my tendency to submit again in the future. I didn't want to fight him.

But, that didn't necessarily mean that I had to let him go ahead and spank me with Bella in the house. There might be another option.

_This is beyond loosing your temper, get your teeth out of my leg! _Jasper thought, but didn't say. _If Alice saw this coming and didn't warn me . . . _But he shied away from being angry with Alice, even within his own mind. Instead thinking: _well, she probably had good reasons. Who'd marry a psychic? Just one step down from being married to goddess. It explains the trousers, and the soap. Will he just let go, already? Should I prise his mouth open?_

I let go fast, not wanting to have my mouth prised open. Detaching my teeth, I listened out for my family's thoughts. Emmett was remembering that Alice had told him to keep his mind closed. He began to sing Froggy Went A'Courtin'. Rose was worried about the tension that she could feel in Emmett. She snuggled closer to him and traced lines on his arm, trying to calm him. Alice was reading me a lecture on Beckett's early work, she paused briefly to think '_paying attention, Edward? If you want to listen to me, you may as well learn something_' before returning to the lecture. My 'parents' were in Carlisle's study. Esme was thinking about her garden. Carlisle was quietly describing Esme in his head. That was that, none of my family's thoughts were helping me. They were all keeping Bella away from me.

_Ow, _Jasper was thinking again, _that stings. What is wrong with the boy? First he's terrified and then he bites._

"Please," I said to Jasper, "please let me go."

He sighed, "this won't take long," he said _at least, if he can control himself, it need not take long._

"Bella's here," I told him, though he must have known already. "I can't stand it. She'll hear. You can do this later."

Jasper chuckled without humour, _brat_ he thought. "I don't have to fit this into your schedule," he told me, "it's not as though you're paying me. If you behave in such a way that you require punishment, you can't expect to dictate when or how that punishment will be administered. I have time now, so now we are going to do this."

But, Bella would hear.

"Please, Jasper, I'm begging you."

Locked firmly into Jasper's mind now, I felt his eyebrows contract into a wince. "I wish you wouldn't," he said, "it will only upset us both. You attacked your sister and I'm going to spank you. Nothing you do or say right now is going to get you out of this situation, and I've already told you what I will do if you misbehave during your punishment."

_Would he really have kept this a secret from Bella? For how long? I should never, ever think that I know better than Alice._

_ She was certain that the only way Bella would ever find out about this, was by over-hearing. But, I think she was just being impatient. Surely he'd have told her eventually. _

I couldn't believe that he was seriously suggesting I lie here and take a thrashing while my girlfriend sits listening in the next room. But he was obviously serious. He thought to himself, _the sooner I start_, and then he started.

The initial sting wasn't quite as bad as it had been before, because my underpants came between my skin and his blows, but it was not a love-pat, either. He brought his hand up further and down harder to compensate for the barrier, so it was painful right away.

I had to persuade him to stop. I carefully timed my words to fall between smacks. "Jasper" smack "listen" smack "I will" smack "take my" smack "punishment" smack "just" smack "not now."

"Don't try and talk at the same time," Jasper said, "it's difficult to do." _It's impossible to talk whilst being spanked. Why does he make everything so hard?_

He'd said that messing around and being disrespectful would mean that he'd repeat the punishment tomorrow. Perhaps he would agree to replace this one spanking with two spankings delivered at different times. I would accept that. I would accept any number and any severity of beating, so long as Bella wasn't around to overhear. I tried to beg Jasper to change his mind.

"But," _smack _"I'll be good," _smack _"if you'll" _smack _"only wait." _smack _"I'll even" _smack _"take the " _smack _"extra punishment" _smack _"for stopping" _smack _"you. I'll" _smack _"do whatever" _smack _"you want." _smack _"Just let me go-ow!" My last word dissolved into a cry as I mistimed it and felt him hit me while I was trying to speak.

_Told him so. _Again he chuckled dryly, though he didn't really think it was funny. "I told you not to try and talk," he said. He stopped hitting for a second and listened. "You've upset the girls," he told me.

I sighed, I hadn't intended to cry out. I knew that would upset people. I'd been worried about Bella over-hearing the noise of Jasper's hand hitting me, now I knew that she'd also heard the sound of me crying out in pain.

"We're fine," Rose said, grimly setting her face and pursing her lips. I saw the rest of the family through her mind, and they were all looking just as grim. She didn't look at Bella.

"Stick to the plan, Jazz," Alice said.

He sighed. _Alice is always right _he told himself, it sounded like a soothing mantra that he had used before, _Alice is always right._ "Why am I punishing you, Edward?" he asked me.

"I lost my temper, again. I yelled at everyone and I attacked Rose," I said, yet again.

"Are you sorry?" Jasper asked.

That was new, couldn't he tell how I felt? Was he going to let me off? "Yes, sir," I answered.

"Then, hold still and shut up," Jasper said, and recommenced my beating. _Does he want to torture the whole family? He's been silent through worse than this._

This time, I pressed my lips tightly together and didn't try to speak. I didn't want Bella to hear me scream again. I tried to think about Bella, to hear what she was doing, but it was hard to focus on anything other than what Jasper was doing.

_She's ok. _He thought, and I wondered if he was actually thinking 'at' me, rather than 'near' me. _She's worried – but, oddly, not more worried than she was last time she came over. Much less than she was when she saw you –_ well, that settles it, he's thinking at me – _tied to that chair._

Alright, I was glad of the update. Nobody else would even look at her, without Jasper's quick insight into her emotions, I would have no idea what Bella was going through in the other room.

But, on the other hand, why was he doing this to me? Couldn't I have at least kept this shame private from Bella? All my family knew what Jasper did to me. Why did Bella have to know as well? Was it so wrong to allow me a little bit of dignity? I felt so alone and miserable that I couldn't stop myself from crying.

When he heard my whimpering sob, Jasper tutted. _Come on, Edward, I've barely touched you. There's nothing to cry about. Don't let her hear you crying._ Then I felt him press something against my lips, "bite down on this," he said, pushing something metal and square into my mouth, "it'll help you stay quiet."

I was grateful for the improvised gag, I didn't want Bella to hear me sobbing. I didn't really know what Jasper had given me to bite on. It was flat and square and tasted of brass. I bit down hard, and it made it easier to stay silent.

_Nearly over. Try and think about how you got into this mess._ He thought, which surprised me. Surely I ought to be getting worse than this for attacking Rose.

Jasper had compared me to an out-of-control dog earlier, and he was right to do so. I had been behaving completely out of control recently. My temper had got the better of me and I wasn't thinking properly any more.

_Despair? Again? _

_ Listen, Edward,_ this was new too, a lecture in his mind that nobody else could hear. _You are dating a human. I don't know exactly what you do with her – and I don't want to – but, if you loose your cool with Bella the way that you did with me, you could kill her. More than anyone else, you must learn to control your temper._

_ It's not enough to 'instantly regret' what you do. Come on, boy, you have to refrain from acting out in the first place. Catch yourself before you make the mistake, not afterwards._

His repetition of my feeble excuse from earlier reminded me of the ghastly soap flavour that was still in my mouth. I thought back over the incident. No wonder he was so frustrated with me: 'instantly regretted' indeed. That was exactly what he wanted me to avoid, making a movement with Bella that I would instantly and eternally regret. I had chosen to stay with her. I was hoping to marry her. I had to control my temper, or I was going to kill her.

I swore to myself that next time I felt my temper flare up I was going to remember what this felt like and I was going to reign myself in. Mouth filled with a bitter coating, butt on fire: remember this Edward, and control yourself before it happens again!

_There it is: resolve. _I could hear the smile in Jasper's thoughts.

It was a short and not overly harsh punishment. If it hadn't been for Bella in the next room, I think that it would have been the first spanking from Jasper that didn't make me cry. As it was, knowing that the girl I loved could hear everything that was happening to me, I felt so small and childish. I hated being spanked, and I wished that today had never happened.

_One last thing. _"You were rude to me this afternoon," Jasper reminded me. "And you tried to fight me."_Sinking his teeth into my leg, like a puppy._ "Do you remember?"

Of course I remembered, I swore at him, I answered his thoughts, even after he'd told me not to, I bit him, and I tried to persuade him to stop spanking me and to deal with me later, after Bella had gone home. I remembered all of my slips and I wished that I had the sense to at least be polite to the man who was going to beat me. I nodded, acknowledging my stupidity and hoping he wouldn't make me relive it.

_Of course he remembers,_ Jasper thought, _he needn't talk about it any more. Only Alice will notice one more scar, and she must already know. We can probably keep it quiet. Everyone knows he tried to bite Rose, they needn't know that he succeeded in getting his teeth into me. _He nodded his head in satisfaction.

Then he dealt a flurry of hard smacks to my thighs. I understood that this was what I got for messing about during a discipline session. My punishment was dealt to my backside, but any back-chat or squirming earned me slaps on the backs of my legs. This time my legs were sorer than my ass. I guess that's the consequence of biting Jasper. It could have been a lot worse, thank whatever god arranges these things that he didn't decide to repeat my punishment tomorrow. Biting probably merits a repeat performance.

When the smacking stopped, Jasper eased the metal thing out from between my teeth. He let me lie there and cry for a while. Finally, he was soothing me, rubbing my back and asking me if I could talk yet. I shook my head, miserably. Jasper leant down and ruffled my hair, "try," he ordered me.

"I-I-I don't kno-ow what to s-s-say" I stuttered, my breathing was still irregular and I was pretty bedraggled.

Jasper laughed, it was odd how hearty and calm he always sounded at the end of my punishments. He rubbed circles on my back, as if I was a baby to be calmed. He was still holding the brass object, which he had been using to keep me quiet, in his other hand. He tossed it up and caught it a few times, attracting my attention. It was a large brass book, which Jasper used to use as a doorstop. My teeth had pierced the brass, leaving a perfect cast of my bite. I wondered if he would continue to use it, or if he would have to replace it, now that I'd marked it. Jasper noticed that I was paying attention to something other than my own discomfort, and decided that I should try talking again. "What are you thinking?" he asked.

"That I'm never going to lose my temper again," I said.

Jasper laughed again and I heard the rest of my family join him.

"Well, I think that's a good aim," he said. "Perhaps you could start by trying to keep your hands to yourself and your mouth closed when you do loose your temper." Then, seeming to guess that I was waiting for permission, he added "you can get up now."

"Thank you, Jasper," I said, meekly, scrambling to my feet, pulling my pants back up and waiting to be dismissed. I wanted to run up to my room and cry by myself until I felt like me again.

"You can have a few minutes to calm down," he said, "but, then I want you to come back here, and bring Bella, I want to have a chat with the pair of you."

He had got to be kidding. I was sore and pathetic. I'd just been crying and I suspected that a stern look would send me back into convulsive sobs again. "But, I don't want her to see me like this," I said.

Jasper scowled, "it wasn't a suggestion," he told me, "do you think that, right now, I would hesitate to put you back over my knee?" _Why can't he just do as he's told. My hand is killing me. I need a break. I guess I could turn him round and use my other hand._

I'd been right, his threat made me shudder and whimper. I took three deep breaths, before I could talk again. "Probably not," I acknowledged, "I'll be back soon."

[Author's Note: Many apologies, I know that this is very bad form, but I am now going to switch to Bella's point of view and retell the whole scene. If you cannot stand such terrible writing, please stop reading here.]

I had a good time at La Push. Since Jake had already told his Pack brothers everything, there was no need to talk more about the mysterious vampire visitor. Jake and I just hung out, chatted and messed about on the beach, it was almost as though the whole vampire and werewolves thing wasn't real. That was until Jake drove me to the border and handed me over to Alice and Emmett. That felt a bit like a hostage exchange.

When we got to the house, Emmett gave Alice a funny look. We walked in through the front door and I was surprised not to see Edward in the hall. One of the doors that led off the hallway was open, I had never seen inside that room before, so I couldn't resist a quick peak. I couldn't believe what I saw.

Jasper was sat in an armless chair, facing me. I could see that Edward was standing in front of him. Edward had his back to me and, even though I must be close enough for him to hear me and smell me, he didn't respond to my presence in any way. Jasper stood, quickly, he strode over to Edward and swept him up into his arms, carried him back across the room and sat down with Edward laid over his lap. I wondered if they were engaged in some kind of a fight, but then I saw Jasper pull Edward's pants down. Shamefully, the first thing that I noticed was that he was wearing a different style of boxers to the ones that I had seen him in before. These were slightly tighter and the effect was extremely sexy. He was bent over Jasper's lap, his butt straining against the fabric, showing off the perfect arch of his cheeks. The position was absurd. It looked for all the world as though Jasper was going to spank Edward. Surely that didn't make any sense.

Alice put her arm around my shoulders and let me into the lounge. Emmett had gone ahead of us and was already holding Rosalie's hand.

"Edward won't be long," Alice said calmly, "come in here and read for a bit, while you're waiting."

Before I had a chance to ask her if she was crazy, I saw that she had produced a ring-bound note-book and was writing in it.

'I'll write what they're saying.'

Alice passed me the book, and I stared at it, then I wrote back, 'I want to know what they're doing, too.'

Alice nodded. 'Briefly: Jasper is going to spank Edward. This is what they're saying:

Edward: Please, please let me go.

Jasper: This won't take long.

E: Bella's here. I can't stand it. She'll hear. You can do this later.

J: I don't have to fit this into your schedule, it's not as though you're paying me. If you behave in such a way that you require punishment, you can't expect to dictate when or how that punishment will be administered. I have time now, so now we are going to do this.

E: Please, Jasper, I'm begging you.

J: I wish you wouldn't, it will only upset us both. You attacked your sister and I'm going to spank you. Nothing you do or say right now is going to get you out of this situation, and I've already told you what I will do if you misbehave during your punishment.'

While Alice was writing, Rose had put on a CD. Rock music began to play. Alice was writing quickly, probably faster than the boys were speaking. She wrote 'it's starting' and then I heard the noise. It sounded exactly like the crack of the riding crop that Alice had given me. I grimaced. Alice smiled wanly and began to write again. Rose turned the music up, but it wasn't loud enough. The cracks kept coming as Alice wrote. They must have just been speaking over the noise of the smacking.

'E: Jasper,listen I will take my punishment just not now.

J: Don't try and talk at the same time, it's difficult to do.

E: But, I'll be good, if you'll only wait. I'll even take the extra punishment for stopping you. I'll do whatever you want. Just let me go-ow!'

Alice wrote Edward's cry before he gave it, so I realised that she was writing what she saw and not what she heard, keeping slightly ahead of real time. When I heard Edward scream in pain I leapt up, but Alice put her hand on my arm.

'J: I told you not to try and talk. You've upset the girls.'

When he said that, Rose looked up. "We're fine," she said, grimly setting her face and pursing her lips. She looked around the room, at everyone but me.

Alice glanced at me, as if she was wondering if I would add my own assurance, but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to sound so calm. Alice nodded at me. "Stick to the plan, Jazz," Alice said, then she went back to the notebook.

'J: Why am I punishing you, Edward?

E: I lost my temper, again. I yelled at everyone and I attacked Rose.

J: Are you sorry?

E: Yes, sir.

J: Then, hold still and shut up.'

The noise began again. The hits – since that must be what the horrible cracks were – came thick and fast. It was a bit like listening to machine-gun fire.

"Did Edward just call Jasper 'sir'?" I asked.

Alice nodded, "I don't think that he'll do it again," she said, "it's just what he says when he's in trouble."

"You mean that this has happened before?"

The family looked at Alice and then at me.

"Twice," Alice said, "Edward will tell you about it in a bit."

"It sounds awful. Isn't Jasper going to seriously hurt him?"

I looked around at the family, but nobody seemed to want to answer.

"Probably not," Rose said, "I mean, it will hurt at the time, and he'll be a bit sore for an hour or so after. But, he'll heal."

"What's it like to get spanked by the Major?" Emmett asked, looking over at Alice.

She scowled, "I wouldn't know," she said, "we leave that kind of thing to you and Rose."

"And Edward and Bella, of course," Rose said.

I blushed bright red and Emmett's face lit up with glee, "seriously?" he asked.

"Of course not," Rose said, rolling her eyes at her husband.

"Did he really attack you?" I asked Rose.

She looked a bit uncomfortable, "he tried," she said.

Emmett growled at the memory.

"Leave it," Rose told him, "Edward is obviously being punished. You can afford to let it go."

Emmett scowled, but then he shook his head, "alright," he said, "that probably is fair enough."

"We're going to play Rummy" Carlisle announced, "do you know how to play, Bella?"

I shook my head and was surprised to see a satisified smile on Carlisle's face. "We'll teach you" he said.

To my own surprise, I somewhere found the courage to refuse. "Carlisle, I think that you should be helping Edward. I don't think that Jasper ought to be . . . doing what he's doing. How can you allow it?"

"I trust Jasper" Carlisle said. "His approach is very different to mine. But, my approach didn't work. When I tried to be a surrogate father to Edward he ran away from me on several occasions, most recently towards his own destruction. It is only chance that keeps him with us today. Jasper's approach is that of a commanding officer, perhaps it is more suited to a coven of vampires. I know that the love of a family isn't enough for Edward; I am hoping that the traditional authority of an older, more powerful vampire will be more useful."

"But, he's upset."

"Yes, at this moment in time, Edward is hurting. It must be hard for both of them to find a new rhythm."

"So, you want Edward to look to Jasper rather than to you?"

Carlisle frowned. "Not exactly," he said, "I want something to tie Edward to this family so strongly that he never considers leaving it again. The role of son and of brother has not acheived this. But, a younger vampire under the authority and control of an older vampire, that is a dynamic that our kind has been using for centuries. Jasper has experience of winning and keeping the loyalty of young vampires."

"Are you building an army?"

"No," Carlisle replied decisively, before letting his earlier uncertainty return "but I'm no longer sure what I am building."

So, surreal as it sounds, I sat in the lounge learning to play Rummy, and trying not to listen to the sound of my boyfriend getting spanked by his brother. Everyone was intent on the game. Alice played with me for the first round, rather than having a hand of her own, so that she could make suggestions when I was stuck. Everyone gave me hints and teased one another cheerfully throughout the game. They were all trying so hard to focus on the cards, I knew that they must hate what they were hearing as much as I did.

Once, between hands, I saw Emmett stride over to the window. He stood looking out, gripping the windowsill hard. Rose walked over and whispered something in his ear, and he nodded and returned to the game. Several times I saw Esme look at Carlisle, and each time Carlisle would nod slowly and give Esme's hand a quick squeeze. I knew that Edward's family were all unhappy. I didn't know why they were allowing this to happen.

After a while, I began to hear a new noise mixed in with the relentless slaps. It was a gasping, choking noise. I looked at Alice, who gave me another watery smile, "Edward's a bit upset," she said, "but he's going to be fine."

I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes, Alice put an arm around my shoulder and comforted me. Eventually, the cracking noise ceased and Alice picked up the book again.

'J: Are you ready to talk? Have you got your voice back? Try.

E: I don't know what to say.

J: What are you thinking?

E: That I'm never ever going to lose my temper again.'

Suddenly, everyone laughed. I understood why. It was funny to imagine Edward promising that he would never, ever lose his temper again. But I was still surprised that they were able to laugh in these circumstances. Alice kept writing:

'J: Well, I think that's a good aim, you can get up now.

E: Thank you, Jasper.'

Alice shut the book. The conversation was over.

I looked to the door, expecting to see Edward walking through it. But I didn't see anything. Usually, he walked so fast that he was out of one room and into another before I had a chance to think. I wondered what was keeping him. Was he dragging his feet?

"He's gone to his room," Alice said.

"Oh, doesn't he want to see me?"

There was a moment's silence, while Edward's family looked at one another and Alice closed her eyes to check the future.

"He doesn't want to see anyone right now," Alice said, "but he doesn't know what's good for him."

"What is good for him?" I said.

"You," Alice replied decidedly, "come on, Bella." She took me by the hand and pulled me up the stairs.

Alice pulled me rapidly up the stairs and into Edward's room, not giving me time to think about what I would find nor how I should behave. That was almost certainly deliberate.

What I did see, however, shocked me. Edward was curled up in the middle of his bed, shaking. His arms were wrapped tightly around his legs, pulling his knees up to his chin. His face was turned away from the door, but I could hear a miserable choking, sobbing sound. He was crying. My Edward was curled up on his bed, crying.

I hesitated in the doorway, but Alice gave me a quick shove and I staggered into the room. I knew that Edward was truly upset when he failed to rise and steady me.

I crept slowly across the room. Edward didn't stir. No movement of his proved that he cared, or even knew I was there. Finally, I reached his bed. I climbed on next to him. Still, he ignored me. I lay down and curled myself around his body. I felt his shivering and his sharp convulsions with every sob.

His shaking shook me. His desperate trembling was too much for me to contain. I lay, wrapped around him, rocked by his every cry.

Without looking around, he whispered 'Bella?'

"Do other people often get into bed with you?"

It probably wasn't a good time for a joke. Edward was silent again, for ages. He didn't cry anymore, though, so perhaps it wasn't the worst idea after all.

"Edward!" I said, when he trembled again and his legs pressed against my thighs, "you're hot."

"I'm sorry," he said, curling up more and pulling his searing skin away from me.

"I was surprised not cross. You've never felt hot to me. Do I feel cold to you?"

"You feel very invitingly cool."

We snuggled up together, letting my body cool Edward's. I didn't know what I could say to him right now. I couldn't imagine anything that might help. So I jsut held him. Edward was quiet. He was so quiet and still that I began to wonder whether there was some sleep-trance state that vampires can slip into.

"Hiss, hiss," Alice was apparently attempting to attract my attention.

"You're not supposed to say 'hiss'; you're supposed to make a hissing noise, like this 'pst'."

"Oh, well, I've never said it before, I've only read it in books. You don't need to attract the attention of vampires, they're always alert."

"Fine, what do you want?"

"You should talk to him."

I cuddled closer to Edward for support. I wasn't sure what I ought to say. "I can't make this better," I told him, "I'm sorry. Um . . . do you want me to kick Jasper's ass?"

Alice giggled.

In a small, lonely voice, Edward said "I deserved it."

"Good point," Alice said cheerfully. "Maybe you should both go and talk to Jasper?"

"I'm not going in there," I said to Alice.

She looked surprised, "why not? Edward's going to be fine."

"That's as maybe, but Jasper could kill me."

There was a heavy silence.

It was broken by Edward, who turned himself around to face me very slowly indeed. He tentatively reached out his hand for mine. "Jasper thinks . . ." he began.

Before he could tell me what Jasper thought, I interrupted, "Edward, I love you and I don't want to get you into trouble but, what Jasper did to you. Well, if he tries anything like that on me, I would probably die."

I heard a booming laugh from downstairs, and Emmett called up "Bella, Jasper isn't going to hurt you."

I scowled, "it would hurt me a lot," I said.

Alice shook her head, irritated by my dense behaviour, "Jasper would never try to smack you," she said, "it's different with Edward."

"You're human, Bella," Rose said, appearing in the doorway, "do you think that Jasper's crazy?"

I considered this for a bit, yes, I did think that Jasper was crazy, and probably dangerous. "You're coming with me, right?" I said to Edward. He nodded. "Well, alright, then." I stood up and took his hand.

Alice looked slightly concerned, then her eyes closed and she smiled. I guess that she'd seen everything was going to be fine.

I felt a bit better after that, though I still held on tightly to Edward's hand.

When we got into the hall, I stopped and span round to look at Edward. He was looking down at his feet. He looked deeply embarassed. "Are you alright?" I asked, "did it hurt?"

Edward grimaced, but kept his eyes down, "yes," he said very quietly, "it hurt a lot. But, it won't do me any lasting damage, if that's what's worrying you. Of course, if what's worrying you is dating a child, then there's not much that I can do. I'm sorry that you overheard that."

"And saw," I said.

He looked up at me, oh, yes, I'd forgotten that he couldn't help looking at me when I surprised him, "saw?" he queried.

"Yeah," I thought it was best that we were honest with each other right now. "When I got here, the door was open. I saw Jasper put you over his knee."

"Of course you did," he sounded defeated.

"Then Alice wrote down what you said to one another," I added. "So, I guess I have a pretty good picture of what just happened."

"Great," Edward said, "I don't know why Jasper feels the need to drum it home." Then he winced again.

"Come on," I said, "we can support each other." I had hoped that would make Edward feel better, but it didn't seem to work. He looked more miserable, rather than less, as he followed me into Jasper's study.

"I'm sorry that I frightened you, Bella," Jasper said. He was still in his chair and he looked almost as miserable as Edward. It was strange. I had expected to see a different Jasper, a fierce angry Jasper. But what I saw, was the same guy who drove me into school. The guy I'd been getting to know, and to like quite a lot, since the Cullens came back. Jasper didn't seem like a danger anymore, he seemed like Jasper. "I promise that I will never hurt you. I thought that you weren't afraid of me anymore. Then I heard what you said to Alice and . . . this was a bad idea. I thought that you and Edward needed to talk things out and that it would help if I was here. But, I've frightened you. I should leave you two alone."

Seeing both brothers so unhappy almost made me smile. I wondered if they realised how alike they were.

"I'm not scared of you, Jazz," I said, deliberately using his family's nickname for him. I hadn't thought about him being able to hear me when I'd been talking upstairs. Now I felt terrible about the talk of killing me. Jasper was still sensitive about what had happened on my birthday. "I was a little afraid that you were planning on giving me the same treatment as Edward."

Edward gasped and Jasper looked shocked. "You don't have a very high opinion of me," Jasper said sadly, "would you believe me if I said that such a thought had never crossed my mind?"

"Of course, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you."

"I made you tea," Jasper said, hopefully, glancing down at a steaming mug on the table, "I think it's meant to calm humans down."

I grinned at him, "I expect that you're more effective than tea," I said, "but I appreciate it all the same." Then, because I can't manipulate people's emotions, and I couldn't think of a better way of showing Jasper that I did trust him really, I walked round his desk and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then I sat down in the seat in front of my tea. Edward stood awkwardly next to me.

"You can sit down too, Edward," Jasper said to him, kindly.

"I'll be more comfortable standing," Edward muttered.

Jasper nodded, as though Edward had just told him some mildly interesting, but not particularly relevant, fact, then he said, "sit."

Edward sighed and sat down next to me. He shifted a bit, trying to get more comfortable, or less uncomfortable, but he stopped, when I looked at him, and sat still.

"You need to be more open with Bella," Jasper told Edward sternly, "why don't you start by telling her about today?"

"Because it would be humiliating" Edward said. Then he turned to me, "sorry, Bella, I really don't want to talk about it."

"I do already know," I reminded him. "Tell me something else: how did it happen, that Jasper ended up being in charge of disciplining you? Aren't you considered an adult in vampire terms?"

"Well, yes," Edward said, hesitantly, "I am an adult. But, you're right in thinking that people who live forever treat age a little bit differently to the way in which mortals treat it. Um . . . there are basically two ages of mortals: the age that you are and the age that you act. There are three basic ages of vampires: the age that you are, the age you were when you were changed and the age at which you act. I guess that vampires are usually more interested in the age that you act than they are in anything else. Jasper never treated me like a child until I began to act like one."

"So, when I'm changed," I asked him, "can I expect to be treated like a toddler again? Am I going to wind up getting spanked by Jasper?"

I looked at Jasper, but Edward answered me, "I don't know," he said. "Probably not. Um . . . at the moment, the plan is for Carlisle to change you, so he would be your father, just like he is mine and Rose and Emmett's. Um . . . Jasper and Alice joined the family in a different way. Alice sees herself as another child of Esme and Carlisle's, but Jasper is, well, a bit more mature."

Jasper laughed at him, "are you calling me an old man, Master Cullen?"

Edward grinned sheepishly, "yes, sir, Major Whitlock," he said.

Jasper laughed again, "alright, I am older than you," he said, "but there are plenty of vampires who are much older than me. I don't mind playing the role of Esme and Carlisle's son, but I don't really need a father-figure in my life, anymore. I was a grown man before I was changed, with a life of my own. I was used to commanding troops. Perhaps I'm more like your uncle, Edward."

Edward smirked, "shall we try great-uncle?" he asked. I was surprised to see how quickly Edward had gone from his punishment to teasing Jasper about his age. I guess that vampires do heal fast.

"Well, I am pretty great," Jasper agreed, "anyway, you'll have to work out your own relationships with everyone over time, Bella. It doesn't matter how old anyone really is, it's about finding a way of being together that works for us. As you've seen, my relationship with Edward has changed a lot recently, and it may well change again someday. Living together for eternity can do that to people."

I grinned, I quite liked the idea of living with the Cullens forever. I wasn't sure that I wanted to ever get into trouble with Jasper, but perhaps I could just avoid anything that looked like it might get Alice killed. A horrible thought came to me: I had already almost got Alice killed. Jasper must already be furious with me.

"You know that I was with Alice when she decided to go to Italy," I said, "are you not mad at me about that?"

Jasper's jaw dropped open, "Edward was in trouble," he said, "you, of course, had to try and save him. I would do the same for Alice."

"But, are you mad that I took her with me?"

Jasper raised one eyebrow, "you are still mortal, Bella," he said, "I'm pretty sure that Alice took you with her, not the other way around. I don't think that you endangered my Alice. So, don't worry, I'm not saving up some terrible revenge for after your change. At the moment, I think that you're a pretty amazing woman. I am astonished by your courage and kindness. You'll need advice and guidance after your change. I expect to be like a big brother to you."

"So, if you're my brother and Edward's great-uncle, what does that make me and Edward?"

"Ah," Jasper said, "that I think is where we came in. I know that you're both thinking about the possiblity of Edward changing you himself. I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Carlisle changed Esme" Edward muttered sulkily.

Jasper smiled at him, as if he was a little boy trying to persuade his father to let him eat chocolate for dinner, "Carlisle had already changed you, and he had tested his control thousands of times in the emergency room."

"I've already tasted Bella's blood," Edward offered, still sounding like a child complaining that 'everyone else was allowed to'.

"Hang on a minute," I said, "Edward doesn't want to change me."

Jasper sighed, "you haven't talked about this at all," he said.

Edward dropped his head and studied Jasper's table.

"Alright," Jasper said, accepting Edward's refusal to answer him or me. "Let's get everything straight: Edward is coming round to the idea of you becoming a vampire, Bella, and he would quite like to be the one who changes you. Bella has always wanted you to be the one who changes her, Edward, she would relish that level of intimacy. Now, you're on the same page and I can tell you what I think. I think that you already put Edward on a pedastal, Bella. Edward, you are inclined to think too much about how young Bella is. You both think that the usual set up is for Edward to take care of Bella. If Edward changes you then those roles will probably be magnified.

"However, from the outside, I see Bella rescuing Edward almost as often. I don't think that you ought to put yourselves into rigid roles right now. I definitely don't think that you ought to put yourself into the role of Bella's mentor, Edward."

"Why not?" I asked, "I know that Edward is a child to you, but he's a lot more experienced than I am. There's loads that he can teach me."

Jasper acknowledged my comment with a quick side-nod, "of course, you're right. But, wouldn't you agree that you could learn more from Carlisle, from Esme, even from me? Carlisle would be a wonderful father-figure for your new life, Bella. Please will you consider that?"

"Yes, Jasper." How could I refuse to consider any suggestion of Jasper's? I didn't like it, though, I liked the idea of the venom flowing through my veins being Edward's. I liked the idea of having a part of him inside of me forever.

Jasper smirked at me, "I don't even know who changed Alice," he said, "and I have never for a moment regretted that it wasn't me. Bella, I know what it means to change someone. Believe me when I say that it isn't the forging of a bond of love."

I smiled back, sometimes it felt as though Jasper was the mind reader, not Edward.

"I think it's time that you were a bit more honest with Bella, Edward."

Edward groaned, "fine," he said, "after the disasterous family meeting, at which everyone agreed that I was too dangerous to leave the house, in case I kidnapped you, Jasper summoned me into his study and spent an hour with me over his knee, spanking me for being such a self-centered brat."

"You called Edward a brat?" I asked Jasper.

"Not out loud," he said.

I grinned, thanking whoever had made me that my mind was silent to Edward. How annoying it must be to have your every thought heard and catalogued.

"And, at least I didn't call him 'Jake'," Jasper added, with a smirk at me.

Edward shivered. That was definitely the worst thing that I'd done to him so far.

"At least you can understand why I say 'Jake' so much in my sleep," I said hesitantly.

Jasper laughed, but Edward continued to seethe.

"I know that you've been growing up faster than me," he said, "I'm trying to stop being such a child. I'll work harder and I will manage it, I promise." He looked panicked and sad, as though he expected me to tell him that he was out of chances and I was washing my hands of him.

"There's no hurry," I told him, "you know that we're going to have forever together, right? Besides, in most ways, you're a lot more mature than me. I kind of like it that you've got a child-like side."

"Don't encourage him," Jasper moaned, "he does need to work on behaving himself."

I giggled. "So, if you think of Edward as a child, what on earth do you think of me?" I asked Jasper, "you must be slightly surprised that I can talk in full sentences."

Jasper smiled fondly at us both, "I think that you're a bit more mature than Edward at the moment," he said, "you're definitely eighteen and he's only seventeen. He ran off to Italy without a thought for the consequences and you cleared up the mess that he made. I think that our first love is always a steep learning curve, but I think that it's harder to manage as a vampire."

"So, it's not all because I'm a self-centred brat?" Edward asked him.

Jasper smirked, "well, not _everything _that's gone wrong has been because you're a self-centered brat," he said. "All of us would have an easier time with you, if you weren't."

"That isn't nice. Edward isn't a brat and he certainly isn't self-centred. I've never been in love before, so we'll just have to learn how to do it together."

Jasper nodded, "but that does mean that you should stop keeping quite so many secrets from one another," he said, "Edward, you need to tell Bella things."

Edward sighed.

"Even if it isn't always easy to tell her something, you are going to have to be brave," Jasper said, "if you can't talk to one another then you haven't got much of a relationship."

"Um . . . is there more to your story?" I asked him.

Edward nodded, "do you remember that I was rude to Alice on the day when you told everyone my new nickname?"

I nodded, I remembered that, there had been some fuss about Alice seeing a vision of Emmett asking me for a second secret and Edward had insulted her too high or too fast or something for me to hear. After that he'd agreed to stop deliberately talking in frequencies that I couldn't hear.

"Well, Jasper spanked me for that too," he said, "because it isn't right for me to snap at my family. I am trying to improve," he added nervously, "I don't deliberately do things in order to get into trouble. You know about this afternoon: I was being punished because I got upset when we were talking about the mystery vampire's visit and I attempted to attack Rose. Now you know what I get up to when you're not around."

"You fight with your sisters, sabotage my truck, and then get spanked by your uncle," I said.

Edward grimaced.

"What did he do to your truck, Bella?" Jasper asked me.

I gave Edward an apologetic smile, "sorry, I assumed that Jasper knew."

Jasper shook his head.

"Well, it isn't a big deal or anything," I began, feeling awful as Edward sank lower into his chair, "you know how much Edward worries about me spending time with Jacob. Yesterday, I mentioned that I was planning on visiting Jacob this morning. Edward did something to my truck to stop it starting. So that I couldn't go. He's sabotaged my truck before, it's not like this is the first time." Too late I realised that telling Jasper that this wasn't a one off would probably make him more annoyed rather than less. I risked a glance at Edward, who seemed to have shrunk a couple of inches. He was cringing into his chair, as if he hoped to be in less trouble if he was physically smaller.

Jasper frowned at his little brother, "really?" he said, "have you been sabotaging Bella's truck?"

Edward nodded without looking up.

Jasper tipped his head on one side. I wondered if he was listening to quiet advice from vampire voices, or if he was just thinking. Finally, he turned to me with a hesitant smile. "Maybe it's a good moment to start treating you as Edward's mate. Bella, what do you want to do with him? I don't mind administering another spanking, if you think it will help."

There was a tiny scraping noise as Edward tensed in his chair. He didn't say anything, he didn't even look at me. I wasn't sure that I liked the feeling that Edward was afraid of me.

"Please don't hurt him again," I said to Jasper.

He sighed, "Edward has to learn," he told me, "if there are no consequences for anything then there's no reason to moderate our behaviour. Alice would be pretty quick to spank me if I touched her porshe without permission."

It hadn't occurred to me that Jasper was ever spanked. I felt a lot better about what had happened now that I heard that this was how things worked in the Cullen household.

It was, however, an awful lot of information to take in all at once. "Oh," I said, "I see."

Jasper smiled broadly, "no you don't," he told me, "I've shocked you, Bella, and I would like to apologise for that. I wasn't aware of how little you knew about the way in which our family functions. We cannot be held to account by the humans amongst whom we live. It's easy to avoid getting caught by human police. Unless we had consequences provided within the family, we would all do whatever we liked all the time. Over the course of a few decades we would quickly have become intolerable.

"So we provide our own policing. We hold one another to account for our actions. If I behave in a truly unacceptable fashion, I can be sure that Alice will dish out a suitable punishment. That helps to keep me on the straight and narrow. Think about it this way: are you happy with Edward sabotaging your car whenever he wants to stop you doing something?"

"Definitely not," I said.

"Then, you should consider imposing a consequence."

I looked at Edward again. He didn't look like he was on the verge of a slippery slope. He didn't look like he would ever consider touching my car again. He looked as though he would be afraid to move or speak without express permission.

"I'll punish him myself, if you prefer, Bella," Jasper said calmly.

Edward flinched, Jasper was probably considering possible punishments.

"Please don't hit him," I said. The idea of my Edward being hurt was too much to bear, "um . . . I'll do something else."

Jasper rolled his eyes, "stop looking so nervous," he told Edward, "Bella will start to be afraid of me again."

"Sorry, it isn't entirely deliberate," Edward sat up properly and smiled shamefacedly, "this is the most humiliating conversation I have ever been obliged to sit through. You're discussing with my girlfriend whether or not I require a second trip over your knees today. I think it would be remarkable if I were to feel comfortable right now."

"Fair enough, but there's no need for you to spread your discomfort around."

Jasper gave a determined nod to Edward and I felt myself suddenly surging with confidence. "You're due another training session," I told my scowling boyfriend, "we'll deal with your punishment then."

"Yes, Bella."

"You," I said finally, turning to Jasper, "are out. Your services are no longer required. Edward is my mate, and I am taking over. I will be responsible for reminding him not to attack his family. I will tell him not to mess about with my truck. You can concentrate on your own problems and leave us to handle ours together. I don't want you to hurt him, and I'm not going to let you." I wasn't quite sure what had come over me. Standing up to vampires, telling Jasper, of all people, what to do. I must be losing my mind, or at least any last vestigages of self-preservation.

"Good," Jasper was so relieved that he let his feelings fill the room. We all let out a releasing breath.

That explains it: Jasper came over me.

"I really love you, Bella," Edward said.

"I love you too."

I may have required a super-human confidence boost to acheive it, but I was glad that I had finally worked out how to be on Edward's side. I only wish that I'd realised it earlier. It would have been a lot better for him if I'd stepped in half an hour ago.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I didn't write the 'Twilight' series.

Warning: this story contains reference to corporal punishment, and it's not Jasper hitting Edward.

Alice drove me home. I was hoping that she would see my question and answer it before I actually had to say the words. I was disappointed.

Alice smirked at me, "go on then," she said.

"It's a bit embarrassing, can't you just see what I'm going to ask?"

"No, it's funny. You keep deciding to wait and let me 'see' what you're going to ask. So all I can see is you looking at me expectantly."

"Oh." Great, just when I thought that it couldn't get any more embarrassing. "Well, alright then. I wanted to ask you if it's true . . . um . . . it's about you and Jasper. He said something today and I wanted to talk to you about it."

"For the love of all that's decent and sparkly, spit it out, Bella! I hate waiting for things."

"Fine. Do you really spank Jasper?"

"Oh, that!" Alice giggled, "not very often," she said, "but, yes, I do punish him when he requires it."

I went bright red.

"Come on," Alice said, "that can't be it. You must want to know details. Now that you've been brave enough to broach the subject, you should probably just push ahead."

"Well, I am interested, but I don't want to pry."

"That's silly. If I don't want you to know something, I just won't tell you. Go on, ask."

"Is it just you um . . . punishing Jasper, or does it also happen the other way around?"

Alice paused for a couple of seconds. For a vampire, that's quite a long pause. For Alice, it's like a total freeze. "I think that he would in principle, but, what with my gift, I don't get caught misbehaving!"

"What's it like?"

Alice thought for a bit, "it's unpleasant," she said finally, "he gets upset and I know that I'm hurting him. But, afterwards, he comes back to himself and he's very sweet and I can hold him and soothe him. The important thing is that it works. It helps Jazz to shake off his guilt and it reminds him to keep a check on his behaviour in the future."

"What kind of things . . . that isn't really an appropriate question, is it?"

"Bella," Alice, turned to look at me and put her hand on top of mine (I really hate it when the Cullens look at me when they're driving), "do you want me to tell you about the last time?"

My face was glowing, burning hot I wondered if it might begin to melt Alice.

"Well?" she asked – ice princess with a wicked grin, "do you want to hear a story, Bella?"

Not really knowing what to say, I opened my mouth to see if anything came out. Nothing did.

Alice pulled the car over, just before I broke and asked her to.

"Once again, Bella, I can't actually see what you're going to say unless you at least decide to say it. There's no need for you to be shy. If I wasn't willing to tell you a story, I wouldn't offer."

Finally I knew what to say and Alice sighed with relief, "I figured you would probably like to know, but I didn't want to say anything before I actually heard the words from your own lips. Well, I know I didn't actually wait to hear them, but I would have done, and I do think that I've waited quite long enough!

"Really Jazzy is a good boy, he doesn't get into anything like as much trouble as Edward has been doing recently. That's not going to stop in the near future, either, you should probably be prepared to spend a few years helping him 'adjust' after your change.

"So, the last time I actually had to punish Jasper was before we came to Forks. There was this boy at school who was a little bit too interested in me. I had in in hand, of course; he wasn't going to touch me. Jazz can't stand it when other men touch me – he's quite absurdly possessive. This boy wasn't going to touch me, he was just watching and sometimes he made me these sweet compliments. He used to spend hours planning them. Sometimes I was bombarded with visions of different ways of phrasing some cute quip about my eyes.

"Anyway, one morning, he said that he liked my smile. He changed his mind at the last minute, he was only going to say that I had amazing teeth – something or other about how white they are. But at the very last minute, he said that, when he saw my smile, he could feel my joy bubbling up inside him. That sort of tripped Jasper over the edge. He could just about stand a boy seeing me, even appreciating what he saw. But he couldn't bear to think that someone else could share my feelings. Of course, he knew that the boy couldn't feel my feelings in the way that he could, but he still felt jealous.

"He filled the boy with terror – which was completely unnecessary, considering the expression he was wearing, the boy would have been terrified anyway – and he grabbed him by the shirt and hissed 'if you ever so much as think about her again, I will slit you from your nose to your instep and turn you inside out'."

I gasped at the graphic threat and Alice sighed, "yes, it was a nasty thing to say to a poor human boy. He was almost as much of an innocent as you. We were standing by the car, about to go into class. Edward must have seen something violent in Jasper's mind, because he got Emmett to help him and they bundled Jazz back into the car and drove off. He was still in control of his blood-lust; he didn't fight them at all. I am pretty sure that he was only jealous, not actually furious.

"None the less, we have rules in the Cullen family. We are not allowed to threaten humans." I was impressed that Alice said '_we_ are not allowed to threaten humans'; I found it hard to believe that Alice would ever be tempted to threaten to turn anyone inside out. Alice wouldn't even threaten to turn someone's sweater inside out.

Alice was still telling her story. "It is far too dangerous to grab human boys and yell at them. So, when we all got home, we had a family meeting. We agreed that it was probably time to move (which worked out rather well, actually, since it meant that we were settled here before you arrived – much less for Edward to get suspicious about), and I had to punish Jasper.

"You already know that I punish him with spankings. He knows that too, of course. So, he went straight to his office and stood smartly in front of the desk. It's good for Jazz to have a study and we usually arrange one for him in most of the places we live. He needs to be able to retreat and be by himself from time to time. He loves me, and he does like to spend time with me, but, even I can be too much for him sometimes – well, I can be a bit much for anyone! He has lived alone for so long, that he actually needs to be alone sometimes. He thinks that we all believe that he sits there reading, but I know perfectly well that he spends half his time just sitting and remembering.

"When he's alone, it's his study; he sits on his chair, at his desk, reading, making notes and remembering. When he's in trouble, it's my desk, my chair, and he stands to attention. He stood perfectly straight, waiting for me to speak. I took my time. I sat down in my chair, pushed back from the desk and took a good long look at him.

"He looks adorable when he's at attention. I doubt he knows how vulnerable he really looks when he retreats into his old army habits. His face is all blank and serious, just waiting for orders. His shoulders are straight, and though I know that a gun would be pointless for him these days, the lack of it, makes him look under-dressed His empty hands are smartly at his side, thumbs lined up with the seams of his trousers. He stands there, waiting for orders, and I know that he is always wondering if the order he will get is one of dismissal. You are not the only one to have a deadly vampire desperate for your reassurance, Bella. Perhaps it is inevitable that after so many murders, any man – even one who is a vampire – will see himself as unworthy of love.

"'Jasper you are allowed to feel jealous and even angry,' I said, 'you are not allowed to threaten human boys; you are certainly not allowed to manhandle them. You know that, don't you?'

"'Yes, ma'am.'

"'We have discussed this before, Jasper. This isn't the first time that you've threatened a human. Do you have anything to say?'

"Jasper kept his gaze steady, looking me in the eye, to make sure that I understood his sincerity. 'I am sorry, ma'am. I know that we have been through this before. I ought to have learned my lesson.'

"'Yet, you haven't learned your lesson, Jasper. When you threaten humans, when you grab humans, there is a risk that you might kill them, and expose us. Since this is so dangerous, and since this is not the first time that we have tried to deal with this particular issue, I am going to be quite severe. Are you ready?'

"He had held my eye all the time I scolded him, but when I made it clear that it was time for his punishment his steady gaze cracked a little. He looked down at the desk and swallowed. 'Yes, ma'am,' he said in his little boy voice.

"His little boy voice comes so close to breaking my heart. I have to focus my mind on the future. If I imagine doing nothing, I can always see Jasper killing, us leaving the Cullens. I can see such pain coming to us, if I don't punish him, and reign him back in. That makes me determined to see it through.

"I stood up and walked around to stand by his side. 'I'm going to spank you now, Jasper. Drop your pants and underpants, and bend over the desk.'

"His ass is gorgeous – you don't have to tell me, too much information (you twenty-first-century kids are prudish, I miss the seventies) – it always seems like a waste to have him half-naked only to give him a beating. Bent over like that, just waiting for my hand to land, ah, I could eat him. Well, I couldn't eat him – he doesn't have any blood, it would be impossible, vampires simply can't cannibalize each other – but you get my point: Jasper's backside taut and bare, is utterly gorgeous!"

"Alice! Please stop!"

She giggled, "sorry, Bella. Really you and Edward make a perfect pair, you can sit around together both equally scandalised by the rest of us. Just wait until you see what we're like at night! Anyway, back to my story. He crossed his arms on the desk and snuggled his face in them. The first smack sent him up onto his toes. The second smack made him gasp. I swung my hand back and spanked him faster.

"After ten minutes he turned his face to the side, and tensed and untensed his legs, just trying to distract himself. I could feel his skin heating up under my hand so I sped up again. After another ten minutes, he began to whimper – little muskrat sobs.

"'Jasper, do you remember why you're being punished?'

"'Yes, ma'am. I threatened a human boy and shook him about, ma'am. I'm sorry for disappointing you.'

"Jasper was feeling sore, he sagged over the desk. He was sorry for himself; I could feel his guilt and shame lapping around my ankles."

That didn't make any sense, "what do you mean?"

Alice shrugged, "I don't know why it is, but when Jasper projects feelings onto me, I always imagine them starting in my legs and gradually rising up to my head, like a flooding well. It helps me to remember which feelings are mine and which are his."

"Oh, maybe you can teach me how to do that."

She laughed loudly, louder than I had ever heard. "Bella, everyone wants to know how to avoid Jasper's gift. If it were possible, don't you think that they would all be doing it? Don't you think that I would do it? No, I can tell that he's doing it, I can't avoid feeling the feelings he gives me, let me finish my story.

"He was filling me with pity and mercy. I felt sure that I should stop spanking him. The feeling was a watery one, though, it came from Jasper not from me. So I scolded him, 'Jasper, stop interfering with me this instant. You know better than that.' The pity vanished suddenly.

"What I was doing started to feel like a terrible thing. I began to feel ashamed of myself for hurting the man I loved, worried about what others would think of me, humiliated by my anger. I sighed, just before I was so consumed with guilt that I begged him to forgive me, I said 'Jasper! I am serious. Unless you stop messing about with my emotions I will send you to the corner for half an hour and then I will start spanking you all over again.'

"He muttered 'sorry, ma'am. I thought it was worth a try.'

"I gave him another handful of swats. Once he was finished trying to make me stop, he surrendered to his punishment. He was tender now, every time my hand landed on his buttocks he gave a little moan. 'No more threatening boys at school, Jasper.'

"'No, ma'am, never again, I swear.'"

By now, I was exhausted, I was hoping – probably more eagerly and desperately that Jasper hoped – that Alice would never do such a thing to him again. But, I was also confused. Her story showed me a weaker Jasper than I had ever imagined. It showed me a Jasper who could be sore-bottomed and repentant. How come that wasn't what I saw this afternoon? How come the Jasper I saw this afternoon was strong enough to lecture Edward? How come he still looked at Alice with so much love?

She grinned. "You want to know the rest of it. You want to know how miserable Jasper was after getting a smacked bottom. You want to know how I managed to make him feel like my husband again, and not a naughty little boy."

"Yes, Alice. I've sat through a horrendously vivid description of you . . . er . . . spanking Jasper. I would like to know how come he doesn't cower when you give him a dirty look."

Alice frowned, "he does cower when I give him a dirty look," she said, "but that has less to do with what I might do to his ass and more to do with what I might _not_ do to his ass. He trusts me, Bella, that's why I can spank him and then I can cheer him up. Unfortunately, that is also why I can't tell you what happened next. That would be one intimacy too far. Rest assured, it is possible to comfort a chastened Jasper, and I know how to do it."

"Let's be honest, you don't really want to talk about Jasper anyway; do you want to talk to me about Edward?"

"I really do, but, wouldn't that be weird; he is your brother, after all?"

"We're not exactly an ordinary family," she said, "we don't have the same boundaries as everyone else. I would guess that you could do with someone that you could talk to about this."

She was right. "He took the gas out of my truck once; and he disconnected some weird thing or other, so that it wouldn't start. He was trying to stop me going to see Jake. Now Jasper says that I have to 'impose a consequence' or Edward will forever pull my things to pieces, and I could see that growing rather annoying after a few years."

Alice laughed, "wow," she said, "I don't know how helpful I'll be. If Jasper touched my car without permission, I would thrash him senseless. Actually vandalising a car, twice, I would have him over my knees every night for a month. Obviously, you're not going to want to beat Edward. Of course, even if you wanted to, you couldn't. Jazz would do it for you; but you've already rejected that offer. Sorry, have I frightened you?"

"Not frightened exactly." I was desperately trying to shake from my head the image of Alice saying casually that she would 'thrash Jasper senseless'. I'd never really believed that Alice was a vampire like the others. She was so little and light and giggly. She always seemed more like some kind of sprite. Now, here she was, blithely joking about actual bodily harm. And she _loved_ Jasper.

"Maybe you should talk to Rose," she said. "Things are different with Jazz and me. He's an old soldier. He's used to rough treatment. It takes a lot to make an impression on him. So, I'm pretty harsh. But, I do love him, and I only give him what he needs. With Rose and Emmett, though, it's different, they still need to keep each other accountable, of course, but they can get away with gentler chastisement You probably need a bit of time to process. I can see that, between the two of us, the Whitlocks have rather overloaded you today! Let's get you home to rest. Rose says that humans can process all sorts of things in dreams. Perhaps you'll feel better after you sleep."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: just messing about, not re-writing 'Twilight'. The novel on your bookshelf remains intact.

Warning: references to corporal punishment, and other nonsense.

Author's Note: this poor story of out-takes is getting rather messy and confused. For anyone trying to follow the logic, this is Bella following up on her promise to Jasper that she will take over punishing Edward, since he did something technical to her car without asking. We are back in Edward's POV.

It was Saturday morning and time for my 'punishment' from Bella.

Alice informed me confidently (tautology, Alice is always confident) that this was going to be a bit of light relief for Bella. She also told me, somewhat more ominously, that Bella was going to release some of her stress and tension. Obviously, I was very glad that Bella was going to have some sort of a cathartic experience. I wasn't quite so glad that I was the intended target.

Nor was it only Alice involved, Rose had been in on the planning too. Alice, Rose and Bella had a 'sleep-over' and decided my fate together.

Jasper and Emmett had taken me (definitely taken rather than accompanied) out hunting. It had been slightly awkward, what with everyone knowing the sort of thing the girls were doing, but nobody knowing the details. The images that flashed across my brothers' minds were not very inspiring.

It was towards the end of the night, that Jasper finally voiced some of the things that he'd been thinking.

"Edward, you are ready for whatever Bella has planned for tomorrow, aren't you?"

"No."

He smiled, "I don't mean that you're prepared, you couldn't be, you have no idea what she's going to do."

"Do you? Have any ideas, that is?"

Jasper smirked at me, I can't believe he thought this was funny. He never thought it was funny when he was in trouble with Alice. "Hundreds. I made a few suggestions to Alice, but she hasn't told me what Bella's going to choose."

"Yeah," Emmett burst in, "Rose and I were talking about it. At first, I didn't see what Bella could possibly do. I mean, she's got balls, sure, but she's still a fairly flimsy human. But, once you start really thinking about it . . ." he let his voice trail off ominously, "there's loads of possibilities."

I saw a few flashes in his mind. A lot of horrible damage to my cars. Hmm . . . that would have a twisted logic to it. Was I going to get home and find that Bella had painted the Volvo pink? Surely she wouldn't scratch words into the side of the Vanquish. She knows that I love – well, like in a perfectly normal way – my cars. They're already shut up in the garage, their keys in Carlisle's pocket. Surely she wouldn't hurt them on top of that.

Emmett and Rose had discussed a whole range of car-tortures that Bella could try. The cruellest was Emmett's charming suggestion of swapping Bella's engine for mine. He figured that Rose could get Bella's truck to run rather smoothly, leaving me with a beautiful looking car that I would never be able to drive again.

"Thanks."

"You'd do the same for me."

Maybe that was true. Having been on this side of the experience, I knew that I was never going to laugh at my brothers for being scared of their wives again. Waiting to see what an angry Bella was going to do with me was torturous. I finally understood that look of abject terror that Emmett wore when Rose was mad at him. It was not a pleasant addition to my understanding of relationships.

"There's just one thing that I've got to say," Jasper said, "and I don't want you to take offence."

"Er . . . ok." He meant it about me not taking offence; I could feel a comforting blanket of calm wrapping itself around me.

"I'm not in charge of your discipline any more, and I am thrilled to hand that task over to Bella. But, if you give her any trouble whatsoever, I will make that post-Italy spanking I gave you look like a pat on the back. Do you understand me?"

Even with the imposed calm, I gulped. His eyes were stern and his voice was deathly serious. Post-Italy, he'd really laid into me. He'd bared my backside and thrashed me mercilesslly, for so long that I'd thought that I was going mad. I never, ever, ever wanted to experience anything even close to that again. I couldn't imagine a worse spanking than that. Jasper apparently could. Apparently, if he wanted, he could actually give me a worse spanking than that.

"I understand perfectly, sir. I won't give Bella any trouble, I promise." My stupid hands darted round behind me, covering my arse. As if Jasper was about to smack me right then and there. As if my hands being in the way would actually stop him.

He continued to glare at me, "I don't want words, I just want you to behave yourself appropriately. I'll check."

Well, great. That's just what I needed. It clearly wasn't enough that I should be nervously awaiting a punishment that was apparently the combined efforts of my girlfriend and all my siblings. On top of that, I had to remember that Jasper was going to get a behaviour report and, if I messed up with Bella, I was going to wind up back over his knees.

I am never going to do anything wrong ever again.

When I heard Bella stirring, I crept into her room with a cup of coffee. I put it on the bedside table and knelt down in my 'default' position, waiting for her to wake. I was frightened. I had no idea what she'd got planned for me. I only knew that I would have to be on my best behaviour or answer to Jasper.

She looked around groggily. Bella is adorable when she wakes up. It's as though she has to remember how to move and talk all over again. She always looks as though she has no idea where she is on first waking. I suspected that was going to be more intense this morning, since she doesn't normally wake up in my house.

"I made coffee." She turned to look at me. She looked slightly confused, but pleased too. I wondered if she was surprised to see me there, or surprised that I'd made coffee. I'd done everything she taught me, so it ought to taste the way she likes. "It's on the side table" I added.

Bella groaned, opening her mouth wide, like a pygmy hippo. I wonder if she knows how cute she looks in the morning. "What time is it?"

"Four minutes past ten."

She shimmied up the bed and reached out for the coffee. She 'mmm'-ed appreciatively, so it was either good coffee, or Bella was already awake enough to be considerate. "That's one of the best things about a vampire boyfriend: you learn fast. This is good coffee. So, what are you doing all the way over there? You hunted yesterday evening, surely you don't need to keep your distance from me."

"I was told that you would be training me this weekend; I thought that I ought to begin in my 'default' position."

I'm not sure what expression I'd expected Bella's face to take on at that moment. I hadn't expected her to look panicked. "I'd forgotten about that," she said, "can we start after breakfast?" She sounded as though she would rather forget about it again and not bother with this training session.

I felt an instant rush of familiar fear. Was she fed up with me? Was she going to say that this relationship wasn't worth the effort? Was she going to leave me?

Forcibly, I reminded myself that Bella had promised to stay and had bidden me to stop begging her. For Bella's sake, as well as for the sake of my own pride, I had to remain calm.

"I'm entirely at your disposal," I said.

"Why are you still kneeling over there, then?"

"I don't want to move without permission. I would rather not earn another punishment this early on in the day."

"Please come and hold me, I don't like being so far apart."

I leapt up and ran across the room. The bed was warm with Bella. Her scent permeated the sheets. I curled up on top of the coverlet, making sure that there was something between her warmth and my coldness.

"Even better than the coffee," she pressed her warm, beating body against me.

We sat in comfortable silence for a little while.

"Is this breakfast?"

I was embarrassed. Should I have brought breakfast in bed? Why didn't I think of that? Did she even want me to make her breakfast? I hadn't done a great job last time, perhaps she would rather do it herself. "If you didn't want me to cook for you, why did you teach me how to do it?"

"I didn't say that I didn't want breakfast. I only asked if there was going to be any breakfast."

I nodded. It was always so hard to talk with Bella. I never knew what she was thinking until she told me. I often seemed to misunderstand her the first time she spoke and had to ask for explanations. Without my gift, it seemed that I was rather dense.

"So, are you planning on making me breakfast?"

"I'm planning on doing exactly as I'm told."

Bella's nose wrinkled. She didn't like the idea of ordering me about. "I thought that we agreed to start that stuff after breakfast."

"Does that mean that you want me to be disobedient until after breakfast?"

"No, it means that I want you to be you until after breakfast."

I don't think she wants to play today. Maybe I should ask if she'd rather do this another day. Of course I should. But, then I'd have to endure another day of waiting to find out what my punishment was going to be. Could I stand that? Knowing me, I'd probably sulk all day and make Bella wish that she'd just got on with the original plan. I really deserved this punishment, and I really needed this training. Why was pleasing Bella so confusing?

"Who do you want me to be after breakfast?"

"That rather depends. Do you want to get the whole punishment bit out of the way so that we can have fun; or would you rather have fun first and endure your punishment at the end of the day?"

"I get a choice?" What was the right answer? Surely I don't deserve a choice. I'm the one in disgrace.

"I don't see why not. So, what do you think: get the nasty bit over fast, or enjoy the day without everything being tainted by my having punished you?"

I rubbed her back, hating myself for putting her in this situation. I'd been so grateful when she'd stopped Jasper from beating me. I hadn't stopped to think about the effect this would have on Bella. "you're really not looking forward to this, are you?"

She actually laughed, "did you think that I would be?"

"Not exactly, no. I didn't think that you would enjoy today's activities. But, I hadn't expected you to dread it quite as much as you obviously do. This isn't the first time that you've had to punish me. I don't remember you even blinking when you set me lines."

"That was different. That was all within the game. This is about real life."

"I'm sorry," I said, struggling to get the words out. This wasn't the scary cat-suit whip-wielding Bella. This was my loving, soft Bella. She was trying to save me from getting my arse tanned by Jasper. She didn't actually want to punish me at all. "I'm sorry that I sabotaged your truck again. I'm sorry that you've got to punish me."

After an awkward pause, when Bella didn't tell me that it was all right, because that would be a pointless lie, I tried again, "if you're still prepared to give me a choice, I'd rather take the punishment early in the day."

"After breakfast, then."

At least I could make sure that she ate something. I wondered what the punishment would be. How awful was this day going to be for Bella? What a self-centred idiot I'd been kneeling on the floor, worrying about my own skin when today was going to be torture for Bella.

"Thank you. May I kiss you?"

"Do you want to?"

There is only one answer to that. I threw myself into the kiss, trying to press some of my overwhelming love into Bella through the touch of my lips on hers. Of course she was soon shivering with the cold.

"Are you cold?"

"No, don't stop, I was enjoying."

"We should get dressed." Lovely as it looked, that little nightgown was terribly impractical. It must be a gift from Alice.

"There's not much point in your dressing now, you'll only have to change after breakfast."

After breakfast is when she's going to punish me. It seemed that Bella wasn't the only one with a new outfit. "After breakfast, my punishment comes with an outfit?"

She nodded.

"In that case, I'll dress later." I tried not to let my voice show that I was cursing Alice for this new kind of torture. "Would you like to take a shower while I make breakfast? I can make breakfast without supervision."

"Thank you, that sounds great."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: This is only obliquely related to the 'Twilight' series. Consider it free publicity.

I ran downstairs to try and make the perfect breakfast. I don't have a huge cooking range, though I have been doing a bit of research on that front. The safest option seemed to be scrambled eggs and toast. I knew Bella ate that and she had taught me exactly how to make it. I carefully repeated the precise actions from the last time.

The toaster took ages, whole minutes just to brown and harden a couple of tiny bits of bread. I wonder if anyone has made a faster toaster. But humans don't hate waiting as much as I do. They tap their feet, drum their fingers and stare into space. Humans daydream while they're waiting. Though a lot of them complain about it, I think that they like waiting, really. Otherwise they wouldn't have so many queues and so much traffic.

Actually, there was no such thing as traffic when I was a child, and I don't really remember spending much time queuing. You never queued in shops. Maybe it's something about modern humans. There are so many more of them than there were when I was alive. Towns are bigger, schools are larger. All the little shops that my mother used to visit have been amalgamated into gigantic supermarkets, with long queues at the checkouts. I suppose that, if you were happy to stand in a line for twenty minutes to buy your bread, you wouldn't be at all worried about standing next to your kitchen worktop for three minutes waiting for your toaster to cook it.

I could always cook the eggs while I was waiting. I cracked them into the pan and stirred them with a fork. Remembering the smell of the eggs that Bella had made, I added salt and pepper to recreate the same scent now. It didn't smell any more appetising than it had when Bella added the seasoning. But, I wasn't going to be eating. It smelt and looked exactly like the breakfast that Bella had made for herself, so, hopefully it would please her.

As I poured the eggs onto the toast I winced. Last time I'd done this I had to ask Bella for my punishment for a minor infraction. I'd grabbed her and pulled her away from the oven. It had been stupid and against the rules. The worst part had definitely been that moment when I'd had to ask to be punished. I would rather eat scrambled eggs than ask to be punished. Having to say 'please will you punish me?' made my stomach churn. It was like having to tell Jasper why I deserved another spanking.

Now, here I was, making scrambled eggs once more and once more asking Bella to think of a punishment for me. If only I'd thought about her before I touched that truck.

Jacob was a dog and probably dangerous. He ought to be shot. That's what one does with dangerous dogs. But, Bella was a grown woman and should be treated with proper respect. What kind of a man deliberately breaks his girlfriend's car? When am I going to stop putting myself into the position of a naughty child waiting for Bella to fix things?

Bella arrived at just the right moment, and I put her breakfast in front of her, still hot.

"Edward, this is lovely," she said.

I wanted to kneel down right then and beg her to forgive me. I couldn't understand why I would mistreat her, when she was so considerate and kind to me. I cleared up the cooking equipment while she ate. Then I cleared away her plate and cutlery. She didn't stop me washing-up. I don't know if she really trusts me with tasks like cooking and clearing, or if she is just pretending to trust me in order to make me feel good. Either way, I love the feeling of being a real boyfriend, washing dishes in the kitchen, while my beloved sits at the table.

Not being a decent boyfriend, however, when I had done my chores, I returned to my knees, awaiting instruction.

Being back on my knees in the kitchen, I couldn't help remembering that horrible punishment from before, when she'd left me. She'd taken her breakfast into another room and left me by myself. It had been much, much worse than lines.

Because I can't read Bella's mind, once she leaves the room, and I can't see her face or hear her heart race, or her breath change, I have no idea what she's thinking. Her mind is always silent to me, so, when she withdraws and doesn't speak, it's as though she's gone. My family can all stop talking to me, of course, but they can't withdraw completely. I can always hear them. Bella's the only one who can choose to shut me out. It's terrifying.

I am so used to hearing my family all the time. It's hard work to actually get any alone time at all. Even if they're in the other room, or hunting on the other side of a forest, I can hear their thoughts. Even if my family aren't around, it is rare to be so far from anyone that there are no minds to read.

When Bella left me in the kitchen, taking away her words and all the sounds of her body, I was truly alone. And, I hadn't been left alone since my change. I didn't like it at all. There was so much silence.

I felt utterly abandoned. It was horrible. It was like falling into a deep pit with no bottom.

And that made me think about when I'd abandoned Bella. Is this how it felt for her? When I walked away, leaving her in the woods, did she find herself suddenly alone, surrounded by silence?

I had taken away not just me, but Alice and the rest of the family too. I had robbed Bella of a family that loved her. I left Bella utterly alone. And I had left her like that for months.

Being left in the kitchen for a few minutes made me feel empty and miserable. What must it have done to Bella to be left for months. By the time my punishment was completed and Bella returned from the living-room, I'd been crying. The guilt and the loneliness were too much. But, Bella had come back to me and soothed me and told me that she loved me still.

Here I was, back on my knees in the kitchen, waiting for my next punishment. At least I knew that it would end. Whatever she did to me, whatever suffering I had earned, Bella was going to come back and hold me at the end of it.

I had learned that, at least, from my 'training'. Bella would come back and she would tell me that she loved me. All I had to do was behave myself and try to learn my lesson: no more messing with Bella's stuff.

She didn't make me wait too long. She took a deep breath and reminded me of why I was in trouble.

"Edward, you sabotaged my truck, again, and I am going to have to punish you. Stand up and follow me."

Bella went to Alice and Jasper's room. I trailed behind her meekly. Alice had laid a blue boiler suit out on the bed.

"I'll leave you to dress." Then she left me.

It could have been a lot worse, of course. It was rather like a convict's jumpsuit, but at least it was a tasteful blue rather than a garish orange. I wondered if Alice was being merciful, or if Bella had vetoed her more degrading suggestions.

I pulled it on, folding my pyjamas and leaving them in the laundry basket in Alice's bathroom. Then, quickly, in case Bella was returning, I knelt back down, and looked at the floor. The carpet in Alice's room is thick and soft and warm. Kneeling on it now, having recently been knelt on the carpet in my own room, I was mildly impressed by her choice. No wonder she'd walked around stroking carpet samples. This was really good carpet. It seemed to cuddle your feet (or, at the moment, my knees). Bella would surely prefer this carpet. I should get a similar one fitted in my room.

Before I had time to think of a colour for my new carpet, she was back. Even without the cat-suit, Bella was a strong, confident woman. She was a little bit scary. How terrible is it that I like that aspect of her? Am I deliberately getting into trouble to make her scold me? Exactly how sick and twisted am I?

I hadn't thought of this before, but suddenly my behaviour began to make a kind of sense. I remembered those feelings when Jasper had hinted that Bella might punish me. It had happened when I was over Jasper's knee. He had said: 'Bella will probably have something to add' and I'd found myself thinking about lying, half-naked, over Bella's lap instead. I knew it was ridiculous, and Bella would be far more hurt than me, if she ever tried to spank me, but I liked the image anyway. At the time, I had pushed it aside, ashamed to be thinking about it and petrified of the conclusions that Jasper might draw if he felt me becoming aroused whilst over his knee.

Now, the image and the feelings came back to me. I really was – figuratively at least – over Bella's knee now. I was awaiting her command. I'd been naughty and she was going to discipline me. The same butterfly feelings were here. I ought to be sorry, but I was also slightly aroused.

I remembered the unusual excitement I'd felt during the first 'training' game. I'd thought then that it was about the outfits, or the kissing games. Now I knew. I was enjoying Bella being in charge. I liked Bella ordering me about. I wanted Bella to dominate me.

That's disgusting. I should be ashamed of myself.

"Stand up, sweetie, let me look at you. Are you alright?"

"Yes, Bella."

"Edward? Look at me, I'm worried about you now."

I was grateful for the permission and looked up into her eyes. Even though she was about to tell me what consequence I'd earned, her eyes were still full of love. She really cared about me. However fun this new stomach-churning feeling of being subject to Bella might be, I was going to have to stop provoking her. This situation didn't give my sweet, innocent Bella the same dirty thrill that it gave me. What I was doing was very, very wrong.

"Are you upset?"

"No, Bella, I'm fine." I've just realised a new depth of my own personal depravity. But, aside from that I'm just dandy.

"Right, then. Edward, because you damaged my truck, you are going to give it a full service and detail. Rosalie has left you a box in the garage, it should have everything you need. When you're done, you can come and find me in the lounge, alright?"

"Yes, Bella."

"Get to work, then."

Should I say something? I owe Bella a few apologies. But, then, if I break the rules and speak without permission, she'll have to discipline me for that as well. I wonder what she'd do . . . Whatever she'd do, she wouldn't like doing it.

Even if I'm not a gentleman, I should act like one. I ran from the room.

Actually completely my punishment was easy. I made sure that I did a good job of it. It was rather nice to sort out a few minor problems with the truck. At least Bella would get a smoother running ride out of all this drama. The outfit was silly, but it reminded me that I was acting on Bella's orders, and that gave an electric charge to everything that I was doing. Maybe I ought to ask Jasper to finish my punishment later. Clearly I wasn't going to learn my lesson while I was having so much fun.

I missed the actual Bella, though. The outfit was nice. The truck was nice, it smelt of Bella. But, I would rather have the real Bella nearby, watching, talking, maybe letting me touch her.

Once I was happy with the job I'd done, I went to find her.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own and did not write the 'Twilight' series.

Once I was happy with the job I'd done, I went to find her.

She was in the lounge, watching TV, with Alice and Rose. That was not what I'd been hoping for. I slid into the room, keeping my head down, like the humble penitent I ought to be. If she didn't say anything, that meant I had to get on my knees, in front of Alice and Rose. Surely Bella wasn't going to make me do that. I looked at her, waiting for her to say something, anything, to give any order at all. But, she didn't. Miserably I assumed my default position. I felt Alice and Rose's eyes and thoughts snap on to me.

I was not looking good. My hair was limp, my outfit was greasy. There was even a black streak across my forehead. Alice wasn't impressed. She'd liked the suit and I'd ruined it. Rose was rather amused. She thought that she'd never seen me look like an actual man before. I winced at that.

I was accustomed to Rosalie viewing me as a lesser man. I knew that she saw me as something of a kid brother. During the rather painful family meeting after I got back from Italy, and just before Jasper made his own view of my maturity painfully apparent, Rose had even told Bella that I could 'never grow up'. She thought of me as an annoying version of Peter Pan, as if he'd been stuck in adolescence rather than childhood. While Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper had all been men before their change, already taking responsibility in the human world, I had been a child, not even old enough to go to war. If I was to attain full adulthood, I was going to have to achieve it as a vampire. Even Esme and Alice – who were far less scornful than Rose – had doubts about my ability to grow up.

In point of fact, every single member of my kind doubted my ability to grow up. The entire rational behind forbidding immortal children was that the immortal mind is incapable of maturing. The age at which you are changed is the age at which you remain. I am doomed to eternally being on the brink of full adult status. So, I didn't blame Rose for thinking that I was a bit of a child.

I had never appreciated her view of me as being slighter and softer than Emmett, however. Her idea of me as less of a 'real' man than Emmett wasn't new, but it hurt in a new way since Bella came into my life. I had a new reason – and a more compelling one – for worrying about whether I could be a man rather than a teenage boy. Bella wasn't going to want to be yoked to a child for the rest of her life.

Rose said, "sorry, Bella, I can't see it the same way as you. As far as I can tell, he looks like a spaniel."

I think, on balance, I would rather be a boy than a dog. Still, I could see what Rose meant. Looking at my bowed head through her mind, I did look rather like an unpopular pet, hoping to be patted on the head.

Bella came to my defence, though she didn't pat my head."That's not very nice, Rose, maybe you two should just go away."

"We can't go away," Rose said, with a smirk in her voice, "we have to stay in case your spaniel loses his temper." It reminded me of Jasper's joke. He'd said that they'd tie me up like a bad dog. I didn't exactly want to hear my sister saying that she was here to keep me in line. But, on the other hand, it was a good idea to keep me from biting Bella. She wasn't really safe with me.

_Do we need to get you a muzzle, Edward? _She thought.

I didn't reply. Bella's rules clearly stated that I was only to speak when I was spoken to, and not when I was thought at. Growling would definitely count as speaking out of turn, quite aside from the possibility of Rose's threat being more substantial than idle. If she really had a muzzle, then I didn't want to give her any excuse to use it.

As if she had heard Rose's thoughts, Bella sighed.

"Please be nice, Rose?"

Rose shrugged. She was growing fonder of Bella, and would rather not annoy her. I wished that her sisterly feelings towards me had the same effect. But, then, Rose liked talking to Bella and she had never been very fond of talking to me. I think that she had always figured that I heard enough from her without her saying a single word, and there was no reason to give me any more ammunition.

Of course, she wouldn't have thought like that if it hadn't been for a few things that happened in the beginning of our relationship. I was not always as restrained as I ought to have been; I was certainly not always as polite as I should have been. Thank goodness Esme and Carlisle were still fond of me. Otherwise I would have been forced to conclude that knowing me for long enough obliged people to hate me. As it was, I had hopes of one day winning back Rose's trust. Though today's task was all about winning back Bella's trust.

"Edward, honey, stand up, let me look at you."

I carefully did as I was asked.

"Look at me. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Bella, thank you." Rose was wondering why I wasn't addressing Bella more formally. But I'd been corrected the first time we'd played this game when I'd tried to call her 'ma'am', so I wasn't going to do that again.

"Really? You're not upset? You don't look happy."

Happy? She didn't sound like she was joking.

"I feel like I've just completed a well-earned punishment. But, mostly I feel sorry for making you do this. I can see how hard this has been for you, and I promise that I am going to try to behave now. I don't want to make you go through this again."

"You need a shower."

"Oh, come on, Bella," Rose said, "you cannot possibly let him get off that easily. You've got to at least check that he did a decent job."

"Alright, come and show me what you've been doing all morning."

I trailed after Bella again, head low. It felt like a real punishment now. I could hear Rose, eager to find something I'd missed and even Alice was musing about ways I could make up for any work that fell below standard.

When we reached the truck, Alice grinned. She'd just noticed that the tailgate was a rather convenient height. If she bent me over that, my backside would arch up nicely for a spanking. She wasn't checking her visions, for once she seemed to be enjoying the moment that she was in. But, she was anticipating a future for me that involved a few swats on the butt.

"It's very shiny," at least Bella still sounded like she was on my side.

Rose snorted, "that just means that he's waxed it," she said, "that would have taken all of ten minutes. Look here, this is how you check that he's done a decent job: look around the corners of the windows, and the rims of the tyres."

"I don't know what I'm looking for, Rose. It all looks perfectly clean to me. I don't think the truck was this clean when it was new."

Rose didn't reply. She walked slowly around the car, examining it carefully. She even lifted it up to check the underside and the bottoms of the tyres. Rose's desire to find something wrong was increasing by the second. Though I knew that I'd done a good job, I began to tense. Rose spent days working on the cars. She had high standards. I wasn't entirely sure that my work was going to be quite good enough for her. A human would certainly find nothing to fault in the work I'd done, but Rose . . . that was another matter. Alice's mind was not helping me relax; it was rather too much of a reminder of Jasper's warning. My siblings were all enjoying this far too much.

Rose opened the cab and climbed in to get a good look around. I shivered as I heard her lean down to examine the radio. After the hatchet job that Bella had done on her last radio, it hadn't been exactly easy to tidy things up. Rose might have been able to make a cleaner job of the wiring. But, surely she couldn't see that bit. The new radio was in place, it was clean and it was functional. I held my breath. But, Rose was grudgingly impressed. She thought it was all looking rather good.

In fact, she even considered letting me help her a bit more. I repressed a snigger. Rose liked tinkering with cars far too much to let anyone else give her any real help. Anyone foolish enough to offer to help Rose (usually Emmett, though I had done so enough times to recognise the pattern) was relegated to handing over tools and holding torches. Rose didn't mind company in her garage (provided said company knew when to keep their mouth shut and let her work in peace) but she didn't really want anyone else's hands interfering with her work. She pictured it now, actually letting me touch something under the car and she changed her mind. _Maybe after a few more decades practice,_ she thought, half to herself and half to me.

Finally she sighed and admitted, "alright, so it's clean."

Alice laughed, "you can't find anything wrong at all, Rose?"

"I only said that he'd cleaned it. Didn't you tell him to give it a service as well?"

Rose opened the bonnet to look inside. She checked my work over, irritated to see that I had done a fine job. Did she really think that I would skimp on Bella's car? After a minute or so, Rose dropped the bonnet closed. She scowled as it shut firmly. Perhaps she'd expected me to neglect to fix the dent that had been there since Bella go the truck. "The only way to really check it is to take it for a drive."

"You want to drive my truck?" Bella sounded shocked. She was probably finding it hard to imagine Rose inside her truck. Of course, Bella hadn't known Rose as long as the rest of us had. I didn't find it hard to imagine Rose behind the wheel of anything at all. She loved her own cars, of course, but she would never object to driving something else. Rose liked to drive practically anything. I'd seen her drive tractors with a gleeful smile on her face. Well, actually, I'd raced her in a tractor and seen her smile gleefully when she won. She could never beat me in a sprint, but with wheels and an engine . . . Rose was damn hard to outdrive.

Rose frowned, "not if you object, of course." She would never touch a vehicle without permission. That was sacrilige. That was the point of today. In a family who love their cars as much as mine do, you simply don't mess with other people's vehicles.

"I don't object. I just wouldn't have thought that you would be seen dead behind the wheel of . . ." Even without looking, I knew that Bella was bright red.

Alice and Rose, however, roared with laughter.

"I am happy to be seen dead behind the wheel, since you ask" Rose said, "though I certainly would prefer you to drive something with a little more . . . force."

They clambered into the truck and all squashed in together. I hadn't been given any further orders, so I stayed where I was.

Nobody was paying any attention to me now. I wondered how far they were going to go, how long they were going to leave me kneeling here. I hoped I didn't start crying again. Last time Bella had punished me with her absence she'd left me in the kitchen for twenty minutes. In the terrifying silence, I had begun to wonder if that was how Bella felt when I left her.

I was accustomed to hearing people's thoughts from a distance. I could see through their eyes too. So, when other people left a room, a part of me always seemed to go with them. When Bella left the room, I couldn't hear what she was thinking or see what she was seeing. Bella's presence was the only way that I could attempt to understand her. Being left by Bella made me feel horribly alone.

Kneeling on the ground outside the house, wondering where they were going to test drive the truck, wasn't as bad as the kitchen had been. I could still hear Alice and Rose. So I knew that Bella was safe, and I knew that Bella looked cross. I still didn't like it.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I make no claim to the 'Twlight' series. I merely read it and started writing my own Twilight-derived nonsense for fun.

Author's Note: this story is getting steadily more absurd, so it must be coming to the end of its life.

Surprisingly, before Rose had even got the truck up to speed, she turned it around and drove back. Even more surprisingly though, she didn't slow down. Rose drove directly towards me, without touching the break. She was going to run me over.

Smirking to herself, Rose was thinking that this would show Bella how durable I was. Rose hadn't liked Bella defending me or treating me as though I required protection. She was right, of course, I am durable. But, nonetheless, Bella's protectiveness feels good. She wasn't very pleased that Bella had taken it upon herself to 'rescue' me from Jasper. So she wanted to remind Bella, in a typically dramatic way, that I wasn't a mere human.

Rose was also thinking about the new car that Bella would need once this one had a big Edward-shaped dent in the bonnet.

Unfortunately, Rose was not thinking about Bella. She was not thinking about how Bella would react upon watching me get hit by a car. I had my own ideas about that, Bella would not like it at all.

Bella would not like the drama, she would not like the damage it did to her truck, and Bella would not like shopping for a new car with Rose.

Bella screamed, reminding us all that she was human. Car accidents were a serious matter to her. So I stood up and stepped out of the way.

Rose threw the poor truck into a handbrake turn. Gravel flew everywhere, filling the air, and coating me, with dust.

Rose opened her door and jumped out. "Weren't you supposed to stay still?" she yelled at me.

She was right. I had broken the first rule: I'd moved without permission. I winced. Was Alice going to get a chance to test out her theory about the height of the tail gate? Surely it was still in Bella's hands; I looked directly at her and said "sorry."

My sweet Bella ran over and threw her arms around me. Instead of telling me off, she was stroking my hair and asking how I was. She didn't seem at all annoyed about my disobedience. "Are you alright? Oh, Edward, I was so scared. You could have been hurt. Are you alright? Did you get hit? How did you get out the way?"

"I'm fine, nothing happened."

"It wouldn't have hurt him," Rose said sulkily, "even if we had hit him."

"It might have hurt the truck." I shouldn't really have been so cheeky, but I felt pretty safe with Bella's little arms around me. I was not about to get into any serious trouble.

"Rose, you're crazy! I can't believe you just attempted to run your brother over. What's gotten into you?"

My sister frowned. I'm not quite sure what was annoying her most: her failure to run me over, or the fact that Bella was more annoyed with her than with me. "It was your idea," she said to Bella.

Rose sounded utterly sincere, and I wondered if I'd misread the situation. Did Bella really want me run over?

"No it wasn't!" Bella sounded scandalised, utterly furious. I grinned. My Bella was amazing. She wasn't going to be steamrollered by Rose. That was lucky, really. If she was going to be Rose and Alice's sister, she would have to stand up for herself.

"Was too! You said 'we can't just leave him there', so I drove towards him. Did you not mean Edward?"

"Of course I meant Edward! I just didn't mean 'run him over', I meant we should pick him up before we went anywhere. I meant that I didn't want to drive away from him, not that I wanted to drive over him!"

"Oh, well, you should be more specific next time." Rose was very amused by her joke.

Bella looked as though she was about to faint.

"Bella are you alright?"

In a weak voice, she muttered "I'm fine. It was just a shock."

"You need to lie down."

She was worryingly pale. Her pulse was fast, but it was strong. Her usual heart-rate was 75bpm, and it was a little above that now, about 80bpm. But that was not worryingly high. Her heart-rate regularly reached as high as 140bpm during gym class. Her lips were still red, and beautiful. She was breathing normally, 13 breaths in a minute, almost perfectly average. I was so accustomed now to the patterns and rhythms of Bella's body, that my own breathing rate often matched hers. Even when we were apart, it seemed that the steady pace of her body was echoed in the unnecessary, but soothing, pace of my own. I scooped her up and carried her back into the house. Her skin was warm and soft. I lay her safely on the sofa and knelt down next to her. I was pretty sure that she wasn't going into shock. Was I in trouble for touching her without permission? Maybe she wouldn't remember the rules. Humans don't have flawless memories, and they can be shocked into forgetting everything, even their own names. Rose coming so close to running me over could easily have shocked Bella out of remembering the rules.

I could easily hear Alice and Rose chatting outside. Rose was annoyed with Alice for not warning her that I would get out of the way. Alice was defending herself, reminding Rose that she hadn't known that I would move until I had decided to do so. She had been looking forward to buying Bella a new car just as much as Rose had.

Bella's voice pulled my attention back into the room. "Do you think that was funny? What on earth was Rosalie thinking?" She sounded a bit cross, but she wasn't tearing strips off me yet.

I had some concerns about using my gift to tell Bella what everyone in my family was thinking. It wasn't really polite to share people's private thoughts without their permission. But, sometimes manners have to be sacrificed in the greater good. And, right now, my greater good was going to be best served by immediately telling Bella anything that she wanted to know. Sometimes Bella's humanity meant that I could distract her. I still wasn't sure if she had noticed how many rules I'd broken since Rose aimed the truck at me. Refusing to answer her question now (for whatever reason) might draw attention to how far I had actually slipped from the required behaviour. I decided to answer.

"Actually, she was thinking that it would be a good demonstration for you, of my indestructibility She thinks that you're a little over-protective. She also thought that it would be no bad thing if she destroyed your truck. I wasn't about to let that happen, though, I've been working on it all morning."

"Very funny."

I wanted to ask if I was in trouble. But, that would be talking out of turn, and it didn't seem like a good idea. Bella was pale and listless. She probably ought to eat something.

"You need a shower" she said, smirking slightly at my grease-covered overalls, which were now coated in a fine layer of dust. I could feel specks of gravel in my hair.

"You need to eat," I replied. "I've learnt a new recipe." Now that I'd started talking out of turn, I may as well carry on. At this point, stopping would probably attract more attention. Then she'd realise that she owed me lines, or corner time, or whatever new consequence she'd come up with. It was worth a bit of humiliation to force Bella to eat lunch. "Would you like to see if it's edible?"

"I'm not very hungry right now, Edward." She said softly, but she came with me into the kitchen, anyway. I started looking for the things that I needed.

"Edward," Bella said again, her voice getting softer and sweeter, "are you upset about something?" She was staying a long way away from me, right the other side of the kitchen, and that was making me even more annoyed. Didn't she trust me? I opened a low cupboard to fetch a chopping board.

I watched as the cupboard door swang open and the handle smashed into the wall. I hadn't been quite gentle enough. It was irritating. I slammed the cupboard shut again and scowled at it. Stupid cupboard, denting the wall and making me look clumsy.

Bella didn't seem too perturbed, she just asked again. "You're not going to tell me?"

"No."

I replied too fast. I wasn't thinking straight. I was annoyed, and I wasn't in the mood to play Bella's ridiculous game.

Bella tipped her head to one side like a curious sparrow and a slow smile crept across her lips. "Edward Cullen, are you refusing to answer my question?"

Being a vampire allows me to think fast, but that wasn't helping right now. None of the answers that I could think of were going to lead this conversation in the right direction. I had definitely broken the rules, and I was in trouble, again. It wasn't fair. It was Rose who tried to run me over. Then Bella almost fainted . . . I'd been trying to help.

It wasn't fair. I began moving around the kitchen, gathering together the equipment that I was going to need for this recipe. I may have been a little less careful with things than I ought to be, but I was annoyed.

"Surely you can't expect me to stick to the stupid rules right now. You're in shock. You're in no condition to play this game right now. You need to sit down and let me take care of you. I know what I'm doing."

Despite my angry tone and my slamming of bowls on the work surface, Bella was still smiling, "do you, Edward?"

"Yes, I do. I have several medical degrees. I'm over a hundred years old. I can learn anything I put my mind to. I know that you are in shock and I know that you need to eat and I know how to make some simple human recipe. You don't need to talk about Alice right now; you need to listen to me and stop messing about. It's not time to play games."

She leapt easily up onto one of the bar stools and swang her legs casually. "I see. So, if I were to tell you that I am not in shock, and I am not hungry right now; if I were to say that I want you to take a shower before you start trying to cook anything; what would you say?"

"I'd say that you're barely more than a child and that there's a time and a place for you playing at being in charge and this isn't it. I would say that I know better and . . ." I banged a heavy saucepan down on the wooden work surface and felt the wood give way. I'd made a new dent in the flat counter. The sudden noise stopped me in my tracks.

I remembered saying that I knew better before, and I remembered what Bella had done with me. I stopped talking and let my hands hang down at my side.

Oops.

I dropped to my knees before she had to order me to do so.

"Have you changed your mind?" she asked sweetly.

"Yes, Bella."

"So, if I were to tell you that I'm not in shock and I want you to take a shower now, what would you say?"

"I would say: yes, Bella. And I would do as I was bid."

Bella walked over to me then, and ran her fingers through my hair. "Alright, then, go and have a shower. When you come back, we'll talk about this little tantrum."

As soon as she removed her hand from my hair, I rose to my feet and ran off to obey her. All the time through my shower, though, I couldn't help wondering what form this 'talk' was going to take. Bella was right. Thinking back, all that stomping and crashing in the kitchen had been a bit of a tantrum. I wondered if she'd noticed the damage that I'd done to Esme's counter-top.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: this didn't happen during 'Twilight', because I didn't write the 'Twilight' series. Had I written it, there would have been a lot of scenes just like this one. So, it's probably for the best that I didn't.

Author's Note: I think that this is the last chapter. As far as I am concerned, the story is now resolved. So, I'm going to mark this as 'complete' now. But, I might write a little Epilogue later, just to show how Bella and Edward enjoy the new style of relationship that I've shoe-horned them into.

In the shower I assessed my situation. Today was supposed to be about punishing me for messing about with Bella's truck. And yet, somehow, I had managed to get myself into even more trouble by breaking rules all over the place and then smashing around the kitchen. Bella was going to come down pretty hard on me, I was sure of that.

Even more worryingly, Jasper had warned me of a horrendous spanking if I put a single toe out of line, and I had definitely done that.

In summary, I was due a punishment from Bella, as soon as I cleaned myself up. Then, once Jasper returned, I was going to get a serious thrashing.

I sighed. I hated disappointing Bella, and I really didn't want another spanking.

When today began, I had been nervous, but I'd been determined to behave myself flawlessly and avoid any of this. How had it all gone so wrong?

It wasn't fair to blame Rose. She was messing about. I mean, dangerously messing about, and definitely enjoying winding me up, but still, I knew that she wouldn't have hurt Bella. She just wanted to give her a bit of a shock.

Nor could I excuse myself on the grounds of wanting to protect Bella. I'd tried to do that before, pulling her away from an oven hob, and she'd made it very clear to me then that it was not my job to sweep her up in my arms and carry her away from anything and everything that worried me.

No, I was an idiot and I'd managed to mess up and get myself into a whole load of trouble all over again. The problem was that I didn't think straight when Bella was around. I panicked and I over-reacted. I just couldn't help it.

Maybe whatever Bella and Jasper did to me would help with that.

I winced, remembering what it had been like to be punished by Jasper before and wondering how bad it was going to be this time. He'd promised me worse than after Italy.

Once the grease was washed out of my hair, and I was rinsed clear of soap, I took a deep breath and stepped out of the shower. It had felt safe in there. But, I didn't want to stay in the shower so long that Bella – or worse, one of my sisters – came to drag me back out. That would not help matters.

Neatly folded on the chair in the bathroom was a fresh set of clothes. Probably left by Alice earlier. She was clearly taking advantage of a second opportunity to dress me today.

Why didn't she think that I would simply walk into my room and choose my own clothes?

Ah, I noted the intense scent at the same time as I heard the heartbeat. Bella was in my room, waiting for me.

I dressed, checking my pants for handles and wondering if I was pleased to find them absent. The jeans were actually rather heavy denim. If I had to pull these back over a spanked bottom, they were going to rub horribly. Did Alice see me changing again before Jasper returned, or was she torturing me?

I pulled the polo neck on and walked out to face Bella.

Bella's reactions can't keep up with mine. I easily slid myself into position in front of her before she even noticed that I'd left the shower.

I heard her sigh slightly, and felt my heart sink further. She hated punishing me. Getting myself into trouble upset her as much as it upset me. Why am I such an idiot?

"Come and sit with me?" she asked, pointing at a chair opposite hers.

I rose and obeyed. But, the chair made me feel worse. If Bella wanted me sitting down to hear what I'd earned, then it must be pretty awful. Though she might simply be positioning me to begin lines or (another school-inspired consequence) an essay explaining what was wrong with my behaviour.

"Are you feeling any better after your shower?"

"I'm feeling cleaner."

Bella smiled, but quickly bit it back and pulled her lips into her mouth to stop herself smiling again. She looked very cute like that, as if she were doing an impression of a porpoise.

"Are you a little calmer?"

"Yes, Bella." I wanted to apologise for my earlier behaviour, but I didn't want to speak out of turn, I was in more than enough trouble already. Thinking about trouble made me twitch in my seat. How many hours of sitting did I have left? It couldn't be more than six hours before Jasper returned and prevented me sitting comfortably for the rest of the week.

"Are you angry with me?" Bella asked.

"No." I forgot the rules for a second and looked up into her face, she was nervous, blushing lightly. "Of course not."

Bella raised her eyebrows, "then, can I come over there and sit with you?"

I grinned and nodded. The chair was tiny. Even Bella, who is a svelte little thing, couldn't slip in beside me. She would have to sit on my lap.

That's what she did, wrapping an arm around my back and resting her little head on my shoulder. She wriggled a bit and I snuggled myself against her. I gave a long, contented sigh. Whatever she was about to do, I would be able to bear it.

Bella ran her fingers through my hair.

"You were angry," she said thoughtfully. "And I thought it was because I was fawning all over you. I know that the truck couldn't have hurt you really, but that doesn't change the fact that I cannot bear to see you hit by a truck! Were you angry with Rose, then?"

"Yes, Bella."

She nodded against my shoulder, and her hair brushed my cheek. I was pleased that I'd just showered, it would help me to soak up even more of her scent. I would be Bella-scented even after she left me tonight. Even when I had to see Jasper, I would be able to smell her and that would help make it all less torturous

"And, what else? Why else were you angry?"

"I was angry with myself. I was annoyed that I'd broken the rules, again, and you were going to have to punish me."

I felt Bella's cheek against my shoulder, it lifted up as she smirked. "There is no 'have to' about it," she said, "I punish you if I think that you deserve it. I don't think that you deserve it, so I'm not going to." There was a pause and her smirk faded. In a sadder voice she asked, "were you expecting me to hurt you?"

I shook my head. "No, Bella. I know that you'd never hurt me. But, you do punish me, to help me remember the rules."

"I think that you've got them by heart now. Today is different. We're not just playing. You were in real trouble over the truck. I don't want to mix that up with a game. I thought that you knew that already. You're the one who said this was no time for playing."

I felt my breath catch, as if I was on the edge of tears. I had anticipated lines, corner time, scolding, even Bella leaving early. I hadn't ever guessed that she would have mercy on me.

Bella heard my slight noise and seemed to understand. She pressed herself closer and stroked my hair again. "Hush now," she said softly, "you're fine. You're not in trouble."

I leaned into her touch, and – though she couldn't know what she was comforting me for – I let her comfort me. Her softness, her gentleness, would give me strength to bear Jasper's unyielding hand later.

"You're trembling, Edward," Bella went on. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I . . ." I hesitated. This probably wasn't something that I was supposed to share. But, if I didn't then I would be refusing to answer a question, which was against Bella's rules . . . "I was thinking about something else."

"What?"

"Jasper warned me. He said that if I didn't behave myself for you then he would punish me. He said that it would be awful, even worse than what he did to me when I went to Volterra. That was such a painful evening. I . . . I know that I haven't behaved for you, and I know that I deserve it, but I'm frightened of what he's going to do to me. I . . . I really don't want another spanking." It shocked me to hear the words pouring out like that, miserable and pleading, like a child running home from school to share their woes with their mother.

"Ssh," Bella continued stroking my hair, but she shifted herself around so that she was straddling me and the chair, looking into my eyes. "Jasper isn't going to touch you, baby. I won't let him. You have not misbehaved and you certainly haven't earned any kind of spanking, let alone a severe one. Everything is fine, Edward. You messed about with my truck, and now you've fixed it."

"But," I couldn't stop the words pouring out any more, they just kept coming. "Alice was thinking about bending me over the tailgate of the truck and Rose thought that I needed a muzzle to stop me biting you and Jasper said . . . and then I broke the rules . . . and I dented the table. I will have to be punished for the table . . ."

She interrupted me. "No, you won't. It was an accident. Sweetie, you need to try and let people have stray thoughts from time to time. Obviously, Rose isn't going to give you a muzzle and Alice was never going to bend you over anything."

I thought back over the day, tried to work out whether or not she was right. Was Alice really not serious? Was Rose really just idly thinking? "Jasper was serious," I said. "He will find out that I broke the rules and he will punish me. He doesn't believe in letting things slide."

"Really? Jasper is a stern, unyielding disciplinarian? Alice's Jasper?"

"Not towards you, of course not; you're a lady and you haven't done anything wrong. But he thinks that I'm an idiot and that I need boundaries."

"Everyone needs boundaries. I think that you've forgotten my agreement with Jasper. I agreed that it would make sense for your actions to have consequences. I understand that human consequences don't really apply to any of your family. And I agreed that I would help. In turn he agreed to leave you alone. He isn't going to hurt you, Edward. Did you forget?"

"He said . . ."

_"I'm not in charge of your discipline any more, and I am thrilled to hand that task over to Bella. But, if you give her any trouble whatsoever, I will make that post-Italy spanking I gave you look like a pat on the back. Do you understand me?"_

I didn't want to repeat that to Bella, it sounded scary.

"He said that, if I give you any trouble whatsoever, he will deal with me himself."

"You haven't been any trouble." Bella looked concerned. Then she smiled suddenly, and picked up her phone.

Before I could stop her, she'd dialled Jasper.

He picked up straight away and I could hear his voice. He was being charming. "Well, hello, Bella, what can I do for you?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to tell you how good Edward is being."

Jasper chuckled, "I'm very glad to hear it. Did he ask you to call?"

"No. But, he is worried."

"Worried?" Jasper drew the word out, as if he was considering it carefully, trying to decide exactly what Bella meant by it. When he described people's emotions he rarely used only one word, he tried to be precise, and most of the time people feel a mixture of emotions. He knew that the rest of us were not quite so good at analysing people's kaleidoscope of feelings, however. He was probably trying to guess exactly what emotions of mine would make Bella conclude that I was worried. "Do you think that he is losing control?"

"No, Jasper. It's nothing like that. He's just unhappy and worried about some threat you made."

Jasper must have heard the angry edge to Bella's voice, because he switched from relaxed to mollifying. "I am sorry; I suppose that I shouldn't have done that." Jasper was backing down. He was retreating in the face of an angry Bella. Wow. My girlfriend is incredible. I have heard Jasper back-pedal before, usually when faced with an annoyed Alice, but it is by no means a common occurrence It was quite a surprise to hear how quickly he began apologising to Bella.

"I will make it right," he continued. "Would you like me to come back now and calm him down?"

"I don't think so, thank you. I think that I can handle it."

"Of that I have no doubt, ma'am."

I was very glad that Jasper wasn't actually here right now. What would he think of that sudden rush of lust I felt when he called my girlfriend 'ma'am'?

"So, you won't be punishing Edward for anything when you return?" I don't think she has any clue how thrilling it is to hear her sounding firm and in-charge like that.

"Bella?" Jasper sounded confused, "you want me to say it aloud? Edward's there, I take it. Well, alright, let me step outside." I heard him moving. Presumably he didn't want to be overheard making his next comment. I wondered exactly where he was. "Fine. Edward, I am not going to punish you when I get home." There was a short pause, then he asked: "did it help?"

"You can't tell?"

"Not from here, no."

"I think it helped. Thank you, Jasper. Have a good afternoon."

"You too, Bella, Edward."

She hung up and looked at me.

I couldn't quite believe what had just happened. Bella rang Jasper and told him to leave me alone, and he actually apologised for making the threat in the first place and promised to make it right. He had, of course, been brought up to show respect for women, respect bordering on adulation. I knew that; I had seen the way he treated Alice and Rose and Esme. But, the exchange still surprised me. I had never expected to see Bella, my little nervous blushing Bella, stand up to Major Jasper Whitlock. Even if it was quite clear, in retrospect, that if Bella did stand up to him, Jasper would meekly bow his head and say 'yes, ma'am.' The whole phone call seemed unreal. Was that really my Bella? Was that really Jasper?

"Do you think he meant it? You didn't tell him what I'd done. When he sees the table, he'll be angry. He'll say that I have to be punished. He'll think that I asked you to make that call. He'll be even more angry with me for that. Jasper is going to . . ."

Suddenly she started giggling.

I didn't understand, I stared at her in confusion.

Then she stopped herself for just long enough to explain. "I think that you're going into shock. After all that worrying about me going into shock. I didn't even know that vampires could!"

I frowned. I didn't think that vampires were capable of going into shock. Our physiology was completely different, it just wouldn't be possible, would it?

"Your eyes are nice and yellow," she said, sobering up now, and perhaps wondering if her diagnosis had some substance to it. "Do you feel thirsty?"

"No, Bella."

"Do you want to end the game now?" she said thoughtfully, "we can if you like. But, my next idea might help you relax a bit, if you're willing to try it." Then she stroked her fingers through my hair, "but, it's up to you; what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. It rather depends on what your idea was."

Bella smiled at me. "Well, why don't I show you? Lie back on the bed and close your eyes."

I could feel the mattress move as Bella crawled over towards me. She straddled me, with her knees either side of my hips and her hands next to my shoulders. She lent forward and slowly kissed me right in the middle of my forehead.

The kiss was so light that it tickled. I wriggled a bit.

Then Bella moved away and I heard a rustle of paper followed by a scratch of a biro.

Bella swung back over me and leant forwards again. This time she dragged her lips slowly down the side of my face and up towards my mouth. Just as my lips were opening to receive her, she pulled back again.

There was another rustle of paper and another scratch of pen.

"You can talk," Bella assured me, "I want to hear what you have to say."

"What are you doing?"

She giggled, "I'm running some experiments on you, Edward. I want to know what you like and what you don't like."

"What are you writing?"

"I thought that your eyes were closed, cheater!"

"My eyes are closed. But, I can hear you writing."

"Oh," Bella paused, "well, I don't have a perfect memory and if I don't write something down then I'll forget the results of my experiments. What do you think? Do you want to play this game?"

"Very, very much indeed."

Lying still and waiting for Bella to do whatever she wanted to do to me, yes, that is definitely what I want to do. It's exactly what I want to do right now, and, quite possibly forever.


End file.
